Things she said today – the 27 year old Carer  All hair and make up, this one.

Me – Can you make me a salad ? Use everything that’s in the fridge please.

She got out cucumber and lettuce.

I said what about the other things ?

She looked blankly
Like what ? she said.

I said ‘ carrots?’
Oh

I said the avocado?
Oh

I said the beetroot ?
You want betroots…?
Yes – for the salad

Oh

I said can you slice up some chicken breast – knowing that this bit is tricky for carers, I clarified by saying that the strips should be about the size of her little finger. I checked that she understood. She seemed to.
To my ( not ) surprise she cut slices twice as large as that and said ‘ is this ok?’ I said again about her cutting them up little finger sized. She didn’t seem to understand. Then she said ‘ how do you do that ?’
It’s hard to know how to respond to a question like that, isn’t it, to a 27 year old that’s there to do things like cooking. I mean it wasn’t as though I’d asked her to make me a Christmas cake that was gluten free, with an Aztec design, or machine tool me a new winder for my watch. I’d just asked her to cut up raw chicken into small pieces.

Im used to having to say everything 2 to 3 times before the things are done, and know that asking for 2 things at the same time will only lead to getting the last of the 2 things. I’d made the error of mentioning the salad and the chicken at the same time, and the chicken second, so only got the large chicken chunks.
When it’s quite clear that the carer has forgotten the first thing, a reminder from me always gets the same response – yes, I was planning to do that.
What exactly does that mean ? Planning ? To make a salad ? How exactly ?
I get i was planning to empty the bin, i was planning to turn off the lights, i was planning to close the fridge door, wash up the cups – anything you can name really.
How can these things take planning ? It’s like planning to breathe.. ok not quite that extreme but not too far off. I mean, don’t you just do these things without really having to think about them ?

5pm

‘I haven’t had a break all day’

She arrived at 10am and I was asleep until 1.15 pm having not slept til 8am.

She ‘ was waiting for me to wake up ‘ for those 3 hours and 15 Minutes
I said ‘ well wasn’t that a break, effectively ?’ I regretted using a long word, as I knew she wouldn’t understand that one.

She said no. ‘ I washed up 4 cups that were in the kitchen ‘
Ahhh – as she’d washed some cups, it was obviously a tough time for her. My error then.

More to follow…