Stopped again.

Since falling out of my chair ( whilst completely sober ) 3/4 days ago, my right shoulder/arm and my neck have been in total spasm.
The pain has been SEVERE and CONSTANT.
All day long I’m trying to massage/ stretch/ heat, move gently the whole area and gradually it’s got marginally better.
Last night I got cheap tickets for Moulin Rouge but spent most of the performance with my head bowed and desperately trying to alleviate the pain.
The second half I was able to actually look up at the stage, now and then.

Usual mass appeal dance extravaganza typa show.
Really low brow but fun.
Packed with ‘ musical fans ‘ obviously.

On the way back, by road, I was stopped by the police on the A4.
The ( senior) policeman of the 2 was Welsh.
They explained the usual ie it’s not safe to be on a speeding wheelchair on a main road and it would be safer on the pavement.

I explained the opposite to them. Pavements are full of people, dangerous cambers that could easily tip me over , a thousand necessary stop and cross the road points etc etc, not to mention pissed people on Lime bikes.

Whilst it’s not safe on a main road, motorists are clearly so amazed to see me on one that they give me an extremely wide berth, which makes it far safer than cycling on one ( and that’s totally legal ).

He told me I could get in an accident and end up in a coma and dying.
I explained I’ve already done that and shouldn’t be here at all. Also that I’d properly killed myself with a knife into my femoral artery yet was brought back from the other side, lost everything I loved, my job, my life, my children. That life for me without going out and just TRYING isn’t a life.
They were clearly moved, very moved. I thought the Welshman was going to cry.

They shook my hand and told me it was a pleasure to meet me ( but would I please stay off the A4 at night ).

They explained I hadn’t broken any laws. I knew that already of course.

I use the A4 when it’s my obvious route back.
Central london to Brentford is fastest travelled by the A4.
It’s the Hammersmith flyover that seems to get them going, despite I bet that being statistically the safest part of the trip.
It’s a straight line with a 30 mph speed limit, and only 2 lanes. Safe, see. It’s the rest of the road that’s dangerous!

Will I heed their message? Yes, probably.
I could have got the Tube but it’s packed and so often it’s so complicated that the roads are the obvious choice.

6 years ago I found it terrifying to catch a bus. Now I’m the other end of extremity.
Do I have a Death Wish ? No
Do I care if I’m killed? No.

Will I die on a road? Probably.
When? God knows.

I drive ‘ safely’ but the activity is very dangerous.

Well hey, that’s what put me in a wheelchair in the first place, doing risky stuff.
I’m not going to stop tbh.

My date was late, having managed to set fire to her hair during the ‘ getting ready ‘ process that women do.
She looked very cute despite a section of hair that was ‘ frizzy looking’
Women often ‘ catch fire ‘ when they meet me, but not usually BEFORE they do. Good sign. Shame I was in too much pain to actually speak to her for about 2 hours.
She was actually officially my ‘ carer ‘ at the event, by definition.
Not sure how safe I was overall then, not just on the way home. 🤦‍♂️🙄

2 thoughts on “Stopped again.

  1. Hi Russ, I just wanted to message because we met
    once in your old place of work in Staines when I had an eye test. We chatted as we had mutual friends from the canoe world, my husband and brother both were paddlers, I just wanted to say I often think “I must check your blog” which I did tonight and have done in the years since I heard about your accident. Look after yourself.

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