Last night I crossed London in my Tri – not the best tactic- it was wet and dirty. I get sprayed by every other vehicle and of course I can’t just get out to dry myself or clean up. Coming back was better, but there really is so much dirt and grit on the roads and I’m low down, so I get it pretty bad.

I’ve upgraded my Tri. Ffs the new one is the Ferrari of wheelchair attachments. It’s got a double battery with increased voltage to the motor which produces far more power and speed. The front wheel is larger and the tyre wider so it’s far more stable. Along with the springs I’ve put under my seat cushion it makes for a far better ride. Jeez it’s fast. The other one did 26kph. The new one is OVER TWICE AS FAST. Legal? Well most cars are illegal if you drive them illegally, so I’m in the same situation. If I stick to the law then just cos I’m in a tri more than capable of being done for speeding, I am not breaking any rules. If I go for it inappropriately then yes, I could conceivably get stopped for speeding in a wheelchair… I reckon that could be a first ??!

It’s called the MadMax. I’d say that’s a very good name for it/it and me.

I went to see and listen to Malcolm Gladwell. Top author and all round interesting guy! Lateral thinker and challenger of conventional wisdom is Our Malc. Talked about stuff like that in most cities 90 % of the crime is done by peeps who live in 2% of the city geographically. Why then is policing spread so far and wide when it ought to be mainly focused on a small area. That’s where you ARE going to apprehend your suspects… And human interactions based on not very clever instincts. Why for example do people INSIST on meeting and interviewing people they employ as nannies to look after their kids, he said. It’s not like they are going to make it really obvious that they are child torturers in an interview… they are probably gonna keep that bit quiet. You should ONLY talk to their previous employers! But what actually happens is that people don’t check their references by phoning them up, they just employ someone who seems nice over a coffee. Well they ARE going to be nice over a coffee FFS. They want a job!

I’m going again to the Southbank Centre tonight. But NOT ON THE ROADS IF ITS RAINING.

Last night it was 4 of us. Chris gathers his invalid mates around him for nights out, it seems. The other one was Paul, who is blind. Like me not being paralysed when I met Chris, Paul wasn’t blind either. I’m in a ( MadMax ) wheelchair and Paul has a Labrador that wears a yellow jacket, called Bolt. At Southbank they actually assign a person to help the unfortunates like me and Paul. Last night it was Julie. Now why is it that once you introduce a dog into it, the humans become secondary? Was the dog ok? Is he thirsty? What’s his name / age etc etbloodycetera. Would he like a bowl of water?

Eventually I asked if she wouldn’t mind looking after me for a bit. She said ‘ of course, what would you like?’ I said ‘ how about a bowl of wine?’
She ignored me.

Anyway Paul was a great bloke, as was his son, Zac. It was a really good night .

Back to dogs for a moment – Wendy and I watched that film, Gladiator, the other day. Great film. There’s a bit in it where the all conquering general is riding into battle with his Alsatian dog running beside him. People are being sliced, stabbed, decapitated, you name it .
Wendy says ‘ OH MY GOD!’ I said ‘ what ?’ She said ‘ well the dog’ I said ‘ what about the dog ?’ She said ‘ well it might get hurt!’
About a thousand men had been brutally killed by this point…. yet that didn’t seem to be of concern. Woe betide if Fido gets a scratch to an ear though.. that would be awful. I just don’t get it.

Gawain has some great stories that make me laugh. He’s from Gloucester, so he’s almost Welsh, which makes him funnier than most English fellas. He told me about his mum. He said she’s the type of lady that doesn’t let go, once she has a thought.
He said she went out to some thing with lots of ladies there. Just opposite where she sat was yes, another lady. Gawain’s mum leant across and said to her ‘ I know you from somewhere don’t I ?’ The other lady said ‘ no I don’t think so ‘. G’s mum said ‘ no, I KNOW you, I’ve seen you before somewhere’. The other lady said ‘ no, we definitely haven’t met’.
‘ Yes, but I DO KNOW YOU. Your face is so familiar. I’ve seen you before somewhere, I KNOW it !’

At that point, another lady leant across to G’s mum and said ‘ look, just leave it be….you don’t know her ok. ‘

‘ But yes I do, I definitely RECOGNISE her..!’

Other woman ‘ Yes, well that’s because it’s Rosemary West’s near identical sister’

Priceless.