Heathrow airport.

Sitting in the airport lounge in T5, Heathrow. 

Wheeling through security, not the X Ray machine, being ‘patted down’ by security guard, who asked me to raise my two arms ( couldn’t do ) , then wondered what was attached to my leg.. Answer ‘ catheter ‘ What’s that, he said. 
Goes into my willy, drains urine into a bag  , I said. 
You can taste it if you like, I added.  
Slightly awkward smile. 
Further training required? Just a thought. 
Not his fault, bless him. 
At my new height all I seem to see are women’s bums. It’s quite nice, some of the time.
 Women dress up to catch planes, I think, improving the view down here. 
Cos I can’t give people a hug now ( midgets excepted ) I find myself patting thighs/bums instead. It’s not perverted, it’s just sort of practical!
If I pat yours, please don’t take offence. 
But if you’re a girl, bear in mind how I see the world, so make an effort? 😉
I’m only wearing a ‘leave in’ catheter for the trip. It means it’s unlikely that I’ll wet myself basically, essential when skiing. 
All that bumping around and falling over could result in a ‘leak’ otherwise. 
Sub zero temp’s and wet trousers, combined with no sensation …. Bad frostbite risk!
 Best avoided I feel. 
Surgical removal of toes not ideal at this moment. 
And looks crap in sandals.  
Ok, I’ll resume wine drinking now. 
In moderation sadly. Hmmm, life really has changed!

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