Over these last 5 years I’ve witnessed something that’s bemused me. It does seem to be the way of the world, at least in Britain. When men and women get married here, at that point the relationship seems outwardly equal, both partners contributing, with both also listening to each other.
Give it 20 years and the dynamic has changed, and nearly always in the same way. One partner becomes dominant ( opinion wise ) over the other, so that a lot of ‘ obeying’ goes on. Back in the day that word was part of the marriage vows. The lady pledged to obey her husband. It’s not in there anymore, as women quite rightly didn’t want it to be. The thing is that it’s gone the other way. Men have become so dominated by their wives that they dare not cross them. I have lots of ( mostly former ) friends who just do as they are told. To me it’s extraordinary that they would do that. It would be equally offensive if they were to dominate and control their wives. What’s the attraction of having control over your partner? Beats me totally. Where’s the fun in it? For either party? It wasn’t like that when you liked each other enough to want to marry one another.

There really ought be a new wedding vow clause, so that you know how it will be 20 years after you leave the church, where the man vows to do as his wife tells him, forsaking all opinions of his own and capitulating immediately when She Who Must Be Obeyed speaks.

My advice? Don’t get married. In nearly all cases one of you will live to regret it. I can see rising levels of marital unhappiness ahead.

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