It’s 4 am and I’m thinking, as in my mind is at work, thoughts flying about in different directions.

My girls leave tomorrow, at midday.
That won’t be a good moment for me.

I’m thinking about my life before – lived at full speed – being a dad, husband, a boss at work, having a full on life outside work, all the sports I did ( every day ), a social life that was way too overcommitted, all leading to far too little sleep. But with hindsight how easy life was, compared to now, how it is now with relatively so few things in it, yet so much more of a battle, with far less fulfilment.

Today will be day 3 of electricity stimulation to bits of me that don’t work.

They’re doing my back and the right side of my stomach.
As I have partial sensation there, indeed hypersensitivity of sorts, it does hurt.
80 odd minutes of being zapped every 10 seconds, for 3 seconds

I can’t say it’s fun, but in the longer term there could / should be a benefit.

Today I think they may switch to my legs/ glutes ( bum ), instead, so I won’t feel a thing.

It’s -17 outside, and the pavements are not cleared, so Dani will drive me there, and collect me later.

It’s far better having them here, and being a family for a while.

When they go it’ll no doubt lead to a dip in my mood ( so easily dented ) so I try not to think about it.

They had a great day yesterday visiting a massive cavern in Louisville, zip wiring etc.
I love seeing them having fun, and have to suppress my own sadness that I can join in.

I did get to take the guided tour through MegaCavern though, an amazing place with an incredible history.
It was cold for me, my chair strapped in to the open topped wagon, but fascinating nonetheless.

Def a must visit if you come this way.

There is a lot of snow here – the roads are gradually clearing, but the pavements not at all.

I imagine they’re not a priority as no one walks anywhere in Kentucky.

So in a wheelchair, that would make me stranded, if Dani weren’t here, with a car, as snow is definitely not an option in a chair.

It’s also very windy and very cold now.
Schools are shut still, I hear.

I’m at the hospital now ( lift from Dani ), for the first time since Friday, and hoping Jamie and Mitch will make it in, to electrocute me.

The kids are still very much In bed ( tablets and earphones… Usual story ).

And now there’s 6 inches of snow, the ‘therapy’ is suspended….

I can get to the hospital, but the research guys can’t.

Upside, my girls have gone sledding with their new best mates.
Ah, wish I was able to do that stuff still.