They’ve made it clear that this one is a risky one, as in it may go wrong.

Lots of sharp metal and lots of major arteries and veins.
They have a very eminent vascular surgeon there, very much involved, so that he can try to prevent vessels being punctured. If one is, by a drill, a scalpel, a screw, a screwdriver, the metal plates that they are putting in, then the bleed will be very hard to stop.

I can sense that the nurses here are nervous. I’ve had lots of concerned faces saying good luck for tomorrow ..

I’m totally sanguine about it, and am at peace with the world. I’m not on any mind altering pills, so this is me talking.
I feel like I’m back, as in the real pre injury me, but a far nicer one.

And if I die, then I’ll die happy.
That is something I never thought I’d re achieve.
I’ve lived in a dark hole for 3 yrs.
not going back there, no way.

They take me down in ten minutes.

If I don’t blog by 3pm then I maybe won’t after that!

Thank you to Cherie, who said she’d be there to wake up to.

Russ

PS Good luck today to my friend, Gra.

Thanks to Clair for her visit, and for the cofee, plus the nuts!
Thanks to Pia for the deodorant and the toothpaste ! And the wine – which I too had a glass of…!

Thanks to the kindness of the staff here, too.

I now sleep better, but not necessarily enough, through a different drug that is an anti spasmodic ( for my spasms )

I’ve also had the nous to switch to a diet heavy in calcium – for my bone density – that’s a lot of boiled eggs, milk and cheese omelettes, plus bags of almonds, broccoli and fruit ( the fruit is a permanent fixture !)

Thanks for all the messages that I continue to get.
I absolutely reply to every one.

Not a single message from anyone at my work – except one person. Funny old dynamic, that work one. There’s a big difference between real friends and colleagues.

Quite a few of my medically oriented mates have said that I should seek a second opinion, given that 66% of my 3 operations have definitely not had the desired outcome.

I therefore did, and I questioned my surgeon directly.

He agreed wholeheartedly that I was right to enquire, and then talked for a while about how they operate here.

A case like mine is discussed by an MDT – a MultiDisciplinary Team – including 3 spine surgeons, in my case, the vascular surgeon that is co-operating ( literally ) and the physiotherapists and OT’s.
So my surgeon is NOT a sole trader, let alone a maverick.

The trouble with getting a separate opinion, is the delay factor.
My plate, on my lower spine vertabrae is now in danger of ‘ springing off ‘ under any pressure from my movement.

If that were to happen, the chances of the metal slicing through a major artery are quite high.

If that happens, they won’t have time to get me into theatre to save me.

So it’s all a bit urgent.

If my blog stops, that’ll be a clue.

And if the worst happens, then thanks for reading.

Love,

Russ

Russ
All I can say to that post is
When I got back 2 weeks ago my wife, ***** said how did you get on?
My first words
“He didn’t stop talking
He talked all day , he was in a brilliant mood
So so positive ‘
Russ forget the bit where you say you’ve said wrong things
That happens
As I’ve said
Your a great bloke
Never forget it , a pleasure to know
I’ll come and see the again when your over
The next op
Your mate,
******
xx

Anybody reading this will have noticed a drastic shift in the way that I am.

I have been asking my friends that visit me ( that visit me a lot! ) what I was like before my injury.
They’ve all said ‘ well you were like you are now, today ‘
I’ve said that no, they aren’t right, that I’m now a completely different person, that surely I didn’t talk as much as I do now?? Plus laugh as much??

They’ve all laughed and said ‘ no, to be fair, you always talked a lot, but weee never, ever boring!’ And that I had energy and positivity that never ran out.

You see, I CAN’T REMEMBEE what I was like before my crash. As I suffered frontal ( brain ) lobe injury in my crash and subsequent coma, I suffered a personality change ( classic frontal lobe effect ).

My own theory ( which I just now talked about with a Consultant ) is that perhaps the 2 depressive morphine anaesthetics followed by the next euphoric anaesthetic, has somehow reset my brain.
He certainly didn’t dismiss my theory, but I suppose I need a brain expert’s opinion… or maybe I’m the first, and this should be tried as a ‘therapy’ for other frontal lobe injuries?

Anyway, it’s a bloody relief to have apparently returned to the Me that I didn’t even know that I was ?
It’s certainly a lot more fun being this Me, than the one I’d been for 3 years and 2 months.

I’m a bit concerned in case Saturday’s anaesthetic sends me off in another direction – extreme happiness perhaps?
I suppose that would be ok though?

I’ve certainly realised that some things I’ve said to some people were just wrong.
To those people I apologise, and ask for understanding. I could make a list here, but peeps prefer anonymity, I know that.

I’m not thinking any negative thoughts at all.

Perhaps I have gone a bit too far the other way?

For now at least, it’s good, very good.

Thanks to Roy, Cliff the Big, Red Dog, Cherie, and Pia for visiting today, almost but not quite at the same time, but all a good laugh.
Thanks to Toby and Sara, Piers, and Eileen, Lily and Pat, for coming yesterday xx

But I’ve no visitors for the next 3 days !

So fingers crossed .

My operation is now postponed until Saturday morning….at 8am
When you’re paralysed and can’t move anyway, staying in bed for 2 more days and not moving actually isn’t as bad as it sounds to ‘normal’ people.

Far worse things have happened to me!

Thanks to all my lovely visitors.
Having fun in this hospital, seriously I am.

Could someone bring me toothpaste and some spray deodorant/ anti perspiration ?
Nothing fancy required!

Russ

Guess what the fastest growing crime in Britain is?

Bicycle theft…

Wish someone has nicked mine before I went to France in June 2013!

It’s a bit different…

And a bit of a ‘ step up ( or down ?) from Cilla’s Blind Date.

https://youtu.be/nuZMlnUzbhw

I’m very tired, but the spasms in my legs wake me up, the whole bed vibrating from the force of them.
They can mean that my bladder is full ( which it isn’t ),that I’m about to crap myself ( not so unusual ), that something I can’t feel is hurting me, pretty much anything really – which does make it hard to know what’s bloody going on….?

Anyway, I can’t go back to sleep.