Stranger and strangerer.

So we have tickets to see Jim Jeffries, the comedian, at the O2.
There’s always a bit bit of a process getting in here, but today was possibly the oddest yet.
Having got the O2 app AND the AXS ticket app and shown my every 60 seconds renewable anti fraud measure electronic ticket, AND gone through the metal detectors and the scanner, we got to the tunnel going into the wheelchair platform. The lady there didn’t want to see my ticket, she wanted to know my name. I said it’s Dawkins and we are ‘seats ‘ 6 and 7. I proffered her the ticket evidence. She said ‘ no , do you have ID ?’

I said ‘ yes, but why? I have the electronic anti fraud ticket here ‘.
She said yes, but there could be someone pretending to be you, or with the same name’

So obviously there might be someone pretending to be me, that actually has the SAME NAME AS ME, but isn’t me? You what?
AND they’d have to be in a wheelchair, either prétending to be disabled or actually being.

I wonder if everyone is subject to the same checks? Gawd, what if you bought the ticket as a male and then by the time of the event you’d trans’d into a chick? They d want medical records and everything…?

And today I saw my first mate in University! Paul was in the next room and came bouncing in, all smiles. The moment I saw him I was just struck by how much I thought he looked like that fluffy puppet called Hartley Hare…

Obviously I couldn’t keep that to myself and asked him if I was the first person to say that ( well expecting him to say that I wasn’t … ) but actually he just looked bemused/ slightly offended and nodded.
Not reading the hint ( well don’t let emotion stand in the way of having a laugh at someone’s expense ) I spread Paul’s new name. I never ever heard ANYONE call him anything other than Hartley after that.
So him and Mrs Hare, who’s better known as Mellie Mel ( who was also in Uni with us, and is now an age group GB triathlete, no less ) came for lunch, along with top man Stu J who I worked with bloody ages ago. Maria T, Stu says howdy ( cos he’s American now, pretty much, after living there for ages, and even carrying a gun (!) .. though he still sounds like a Northern Git ).
Anyway, we had a laugh about lots of stuff, including that Hartley can’t reverse park a car ( MellieMel has to do it for him ) and the odd bad thing I did in Uni ( and yes there were a lot ) like locking 2 girls into a room, so that one of them had to climb onto a chair to have a wee into the sink in the corner of it.
Id only play jokes on my bestest mates. It was a sign of affection! Blimey looking back, I did some terrible things to Hartley. It’s a wonder he even speaks to me really. A more sensitive type wouldn’t have taken it so well…

Anyway this is a picture of Paul. I’ll think you agree he looks like Hartley Hare.

Ever tried getting the back off a watch to try and change the battery? Yes, me too. I’d always thought you had to lever them off. I’ve tried before and failed, then had to take it to a jeweller to do, imagining they had super special tools to do it. But actually no, they don’t. I googled it and had an Amazon search for ‘ tool to get the back off a watch ‘.
£4.50 later and the tool is on its way. There’s a clamp bit and a tool bit. 2 minutes later and the back is off ( and they UNSCREW actually ) battery type identified, new one ordered for £1.50 on Amazon ( and you can buy 10 batteries for £11 ) The tool is for pretty much any watch, and I have quite a few….

That feel good feeling of not spending £25 at a jewellers on a battery for this particular watch that probably isn’t worth more than £50 now, is actually the best bit, better than the watch actually ticking again…

Im available for amateur watch battery replacements then… obviously if I F your watch up, then I’m not accepting any liability…