Monthly Archives: March 2017

 

The Pigeon Detectives were predictably brilliant, and the venue in Camden had a really cool raised accessible area, where myself and another wheelie ( female , about 30 ) were guided to ( round the back, through the side streets of Camden, past the addicts, past the Rasta guy playing his boombox, with 3 alcoholics of about 60 dancing to it –  essential Red Stripe cans held aloft , through 2 sets of barricaded metal gates, and up a long ramp to a back door ). I’m not sure if the club is expecting a post Armageddon Zombie apocalypse attack, but they certainly seem prepared, just in case…

The reason I got the tickets ( and I had seen them play before, pre my injury ) was thus :

(2 weeks ago)

Amber : I’m going to go and see a band.

Me: oh really, who?

A: The Pigeon Detectives

Me: Really ? When ?

A: March 15th

Me: Who with?

A: My friends

Me: Where?

A: London

Me: But where?

A: I said, London

Me: Have you got tickets ?

A : Not yet

Me: Is a parent taking you?

A ( bit shouty ) : NO

Me: I’ll go on line and look for tickets

A: grunt

(30 minutes later)

Me: Got 2 tickets !

A: another grunt

Me: I’ve named you as my carer, so you can give me a hand, and get a good view, and get into the club ok..

A : I’m not going with YOU!

Me : How else do you expect to get in then,  with one of your little friends….?

A:  Well easily

Me: Have you got false ID, then ?

A : No, but I’m NOT going with YOU!

Me : Amber, it’s in Camden, it’s a pretty rough venue, it’ll be late, and Amber… you’re 12 years old.

A: SO WHAT !!?!!?!??

So I thank Amber for the heads up that they were playing, but it was a shame that she didn’t come in the end…

 

 

Lucky? ?

I’ve gone at it physically this last week, doing what limited stuff I can do in a gym – all of it with one hand at a time, given that I have to hold onto something solid to prevent myself falling / being pulled out of the chair by whatever resistance I set on the pulley stack/ arm crank.

I’d say that the 90 minutes a day has been pretty beneficial to what’s left of a once half decent  physique – that being the effect of the ‘ muscle memory ‘ that I evidently have.

A lot of my time has been spent on legal matters of late, with my 3 concurrent items in full flow…

I have managed to actually watch the telly a bit at  night, when I’m not out ( which is as much as possible – distraction technique successful ) and I’ve also unsurprisingly found that exercise makes me sleep more soundly, taking away the need for sleeping tablets – another plus then.  I’m really barely taking any tablets at all now.

Just as ‘ things ‘ seem to have gotten better in some ways, a visit to my GP has resulted in an urgent referral for ‘ a cancerous looking ‘ skin lesion on my chest.  That’ll be all those years of kayaking etc without a top, in the sun, without any sunscreen….. ah well, it’s not like I’d listen to advice about that…. I thought about it briefly after a few hours, and am cool with all mortality stuff, having had my fair share of close shaves. For sure, my number is going to be up, whether I like it or not ( and I’m ambivalent ) one of these days soon.

Tomorrow I’m going to see a band – The Pigeon Detectives – that I saw pre injury and were brilliant live. Daft name, for sure, and I wonder if a they think much about that, having become fairly successful ? After all, it’s a brave move to change your name and risk losing your fan base ( because they had no idea you had, when they search for your gigs to go to online ).  They’re playing in Camden, where I used to work a long time ago ( in my 20’s ) and of which I have sort of fond memories.  I definitely have some extremely funny anecdotal memories of being there for 2 years, but that would be the same for all periods of my life, and still is!

This weekend I go to Birmingham, for my first ‘ duty’ as a member of the British College of Optometrists’ council.  It’s a voluntary role, and is  the introduction to a few years of having the position  – that is, if i live that long…. I’ll do what I can to contribute, obviously, and may bump into  a few people / mow them down by accident in my  Triride.

Thanks to Francesca, my brilliant carer, for her help in driving me there and back, and all the serious shit that I am totally reliant upon her for…❤

 

My life continues to be ruled by spasms and bloating complications… the latter now dictating quite a lot how I feel about going anywhere. Being out in a public place and being very conscious of  what is going on inside me, but unable to do anything about it, is extremely distracting for me.

Likewise, being jolted awake by violent spasms is also a crap start to any day. They are never just a one off – jolting spasms don’t ‘ just stop’ – there is always something that happens next.

I spent a night away at a friend’s house  ( only my second since August last year ). Massive thanks to Damian and Sally for their extreme hospitality, and for my buddy, Rob, for dropping everything to …. come and drink Guinness…

Damian was my first ( proper job ) boss when I was only 20, and he and I became really good friends very quickly. He realised pretty quickly that I was happier to go with him to the gym at lunchtime and lift weights with him, than for either of us to actually work, so it seemed to be the ideal job, and him the ideal boss. Unfortunately, after 3 months, he left, and his replacement wasn’t interested in me going to the gym with her in the middle of the working day, so it didn’t work out…. and I left ( actually feeling aggrieved – imagine that ?! ) Anyway….. it was funny then, and it’s still funny now.

His then partner, Stephen, who was supposed to be supervising me through my Pre registration ophthalmics year, is now a successful  artist, with a specialty in painting pictures of women wearing hardly any kit on. Like me, he wasn’t your typical optician type…. so I’m not really surprised that he didn’t stick at it.

Damian has been pretty successful in business over the years, having been massively entrepreneurial, and amongst other things has a Steinway piano in his hallway – now that is a beautiful thing to even look at. I’d love to hear my daughter, Lily, play it, and hear what she thinks of the experience.

I enclose a picture of the ‘ insides’ of a piano that’s worth as much as a house, or I would if I could get this site to upload the blimmin picture. 

Overdue thanks.

Thank you to Caroline, for suggesting and taking me to the Royal Academy of Art to see an exhibition – America after the Fall.  It was really very interesting, and a lot better than some of the tosh in the Tate Modern…

Wednesday 8/3/17.

At 8.37am today I received a message from a person that I love dearly that the mum of another  that I love dearly had just taken her last breath.

At 11.30 I was able to see my buddy and give him a hug. He’s not the hugging type, so I’m still in slight shock that we did that, and I’m sure won’t again, but I felt the sadness in that man to man exchange.

Just 2 days ago I felt the need to visit his ( very ill ) mum, having not seen her for several years I think,  and am now very glad that I did. Her death  isn’t a surprise, it having been ‘medically predictable ‘ for a while, but I felt a huge urge to pay my respects whilst she was still alive, rather than wait until a funeral service to do so.

Thank you to my 2 lovely friends for being the people that they are, and thank you to my man monster brother Stu for his strength in pretty much lifting me and my wheelchair into the pretty inaccessible house where she lay, on Sunday.

May she rest in peace.

 

 

After a very informative talk about tigers in India at the RGS – packed house for this one – tigers seem to get people going, I actually went to a gig that I didn’t book myself.

Thanks to Pia for an invite to see Elbow. Whilst the tickets weren’t available for the accessible area, we did actually get put in there, rather than in General Standing ( obviously difficult for me, that one )

To my surprise, I was the only person in the access/ wheelchair area that appeared to have any obvious problem with mobility, other than a chap wearing a ‘ Beckham/ Rooney boot ‘ who I’m sure was Jose Mourinho, or had modelled himself on him very diligently.   The others all seemed to jump up and run to the door, as soon as the gig finished…..

Cynical ? Moi? Never.

Great to spend an evening with my lil bruv, Stu, on Sunday. We had a lot to talk about, having not met since the autumn.

I’m at my wit’s end with one or two of the District Nurse personnel that ‘ look after ‘ me every other day, in the mornings. My insides are obviously in a mess, and they appear to be out of their depth. It seems to be irrelevant to them, what well informed guidance I offer ( after all, I’m the only one that is actually a paraplegic ) so I have been obliged to write to a superior, who is actually blessed with a lot of experience, and , more importantly, common sense.  Thanks then to Karin for her intervention. As I’ll be in hospital from April 12-19th having this permanently remedied, it’s relatively short term that I have to put up with this, though April 12th seems to be approaching so very slowly.

I’ve resumed aerobic exercise on a daily basis, my only option being one armed ‘ cycling ‘ on a machine in the gym. I swap arms when the first arm feels like it’s going to fall off, and then back again etc etc.  I don’t know how much of my dire physical reflection is down to limited exercise, and how much down to severe bloating. Either way, after a lifetime of being exercise obsessed, I don’t like what i see at all, so I’ll do what I can from here on.  I’ve already realised that I’m sleeping far better, for doing more exercise – a blindingly obvious connection  that I’ve always known about.

Tomorrow my cultural existence will be further enhanced by visiting the Royal Academy to see an exhibition – Grapes of Wrath period – and then a lecture entitled CANNABIS: PLEASURE, MADNESS, MEDICINE?

Thanks to my friends that are making these things achievable.

Oh and thanks to my social worker for her dedication.

Russ

 

 

Lake Labarge

My late Grampy would, as his ‘ party trick ‘ recite this poem, always, but not exclusively to us, on Boxing Day in Wales on family get togethers.

The fun and laughs we had as a family are, I think, a peculiarly Welsh thing, that mixture of respect and total irreverence, all at once.

I didn’t know where Lake Labarge even was.. until i canoed across the 35 miles of it in the Yukon 1000 miles race, it being just a ( dangerous ) fragment of that distance that took us several hours.  I was able to collect a few stones from the bank though, which upon my return from Canada, I gave to my Grampy’s children – my father and his his two lovely sisters, Gill and Rose.

I wrote in silver ink on each stone just simply ‘ In memory of Grampy, Lake Labarge July 2009 ‘

I feel very emotional when I think about it, and the poem. Often I’ve thought that I should commit the words to memory, but then remembered how he used to recite it with such passion and humour, well into his 80’s and indeed at his 90th birthday, that I don’t feel that I could do it justice.

So, here’s for my ( very much missed Grampy ).

(By Robert W. Service)
There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where the cotton blooms and blows.
Why he left his home in the South to roam ’round the Pole, God only knows.
He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed to hold him like a spell;
Though he’d often say in his homely way that “he’d sooner live in hell.”

On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way over the Dawson trail.
Talk of your cold! through the parka’s fold it stabbed like a driven nail.
If our eyes we’d close, then the lashes froze till sometimes we couldn’t see;
It wasn’t much fun, but the only one to whimper was Sam McGee.

And that very night, as we lay packed tight in our robes beneath the snow,
And the dogs were fed, and the stars o’erhead were dancing heel and toe,
He turned to me, and “Cap,” says he, “I’ll cash in this trip, I guess;
And if I do, I’m asking that you won’t refuse my last request.”

Well, he seemed so low that I couldn’t say no; then he says with a sort of moan:
“It’s the cursèd cold, and it’s got right hold till I’m chilled clean through to the bone.
Yet ’tain’t being dead—it’s my awful dread of the icy grave that pains;
So I want you to swear that, foul or fair, you’ll cremate my last remains.”

A pal’s last need is a thing to heed, so I swore I would not fail;
And we started on at the streak of dawn; but God! he looked ghastly pale.
He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day of his home in Tennessee;
And before nightfall a corpse was all that was left of Sam McGee.

There wasn’t a breath in that land of death, and I hurried, horror-driven,
With a corpse half hid that I couldn’t get rid, because of a promise given;
It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say: “You may tax your brawn and brains,
But you promised true, and it’s up to you to cremate those last remains.”

Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code.
In the days to come, though my lips were dumb, in my heart how I cursed that load.
In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, round in a ring,
Howled out their woes to the homeless snows— O God! how I loathed the thing.

And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy and heavier grow;
And on I went, though the dogs were spent and the grub was getting low;
The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I swore I would not give in;
And I’d often sing to the hateful thing, and it hearkened with a grin.

Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge, and a derelict there lay;
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice it was called the “Alice May.”
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;
Then “Here,” said I, with a sudden cry, “is my cre-ma-tor-eum.”

Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire;
Some coal I found that was lying around, and I heaped the fuel higher;
The flames just soared, and the furnace roared—such a blaze you seldom see;
And I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal, and I stuffed in Sam McGee.

Then I made a hike, for I didn’t like to hear him sizzle so;
And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled, and the wind began to blow.
It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled down my cheeks, and I don’t know why;
And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak went streaking down the sky.

I do not know how long in the snow I wrestled with grisly fear;
But the stars came out and they danced about ere again I ventured near;
I was sick with dread, but I bravely said: “I’ll just take a peep inside.
I guess he’s cooked, and it’s time I looked”; … then the door I opened wide.

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar;
And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: “Please close that door.
It’s fine in here, but I greatly fear you’ll let in the cold and storm—
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it’s the first time I’ve been warm.”

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.

Yesterday’s events

Yesterday I went back to London Bridge Hospital to talk to a colon surgeon.

We have a date pencilled in for me to have a stoma cut into my side.  My new bum hole will then make my complicated life a little less complicated.  As I suffer the effects of massive internal blockages and bloating, I look 5 months pregnant all of the time now.

Hang on, perhaps I am pregnant ? Maybe they installed a womb back in the Autumn and didn’t tell me – that would explain a lot.

But God help the unborn child, having me as a mum and dad.

So, as well as discussing a new A hole in April,  Pia, Cherie and I went to thé Tate Modern. I’ve paid for membership for about 5 years, but this is the first time that I’ve used it. The card allows a guest for free, and officially as I’m in a wheelchair, I’m allowed a carer too… so we all got in for nothing. As I felt guilty about that ( very slightly ) I spent a few quid in the members bar afterwards.  The views from the 10th floor are very cool.

I’d been to the Tate only once before, just pre injury, and had a great day, so it was cool to revisit.

Some of the ‘art’ is frankly fairly ridiculous.  In the main hall, people were lying down beneath dozens of speakers, through which various noises were played, like squelching and buzzing and a few random words. Perhaps I’m just not sophisticated enough to appreciate the artistic merit therein… but I took some video ( probably not allowed ) and added some sound effects myself via my electronic fart machine. Pia and Cherie were just in fits – yes, I am ashamed of them both.

The South Bank at night is a real experience all by itself. It was also great to meet up with Doctors Steve and Mike, who I’d got to know well in Louisville,  2 years ago – always a laugh to see them. Steve was sporting fur lined loafers and a fur coat.  He looked as gay as a 9 bob note – which in fact he is – so no matter.

https://youtu.be/-AT-DP4oeuI

Thank you to my mother, for her visit last week, and my very belated birthday gift of a telescope…. if you live anywhere near me, you might want to ensure you close your curtains before you prance around naked in your bedroom.