Lasagne, buffalo mozarella salad and cakes. What a treat. 

Having survived thrashing around half under water at 9 am for half an hour followed by some gym and a discharge ( no, not that kind of discharge ) meeting, it was good to have a laugh and eat well. 

My voice is finally getting a little stronger, improving my confidence in a group setting. When all you can do is speak quietly, it drags you down…. I think my lung capacity is finally increasing. Wey hey!

Dani left later on, and my parents arrived with shepherds pie. Very tasty!

I was a little alarmed that I seem to have LOST a few pounds this week, despite my biceps growing, seemingly by quite a lot. 

Of course it doesn’t make me strong, as in some ways I have no capability at all. 

I can’t hold both arms in front of me. If I try I fall forward. That’s probably for life. 

Bad!

It means that one hand always has to hang on to my wheelchair, as an anchor, usually to  one wheel rim. 

Still, the biceps at least look ok. 

After weighing, I’ve eaten non stop. 

I can’t kick my healthy habits tho, so I avoid crap food. 

Fat in a wheelchair ? Very easily done I’d say, but not me, if I can at all help it. 

Thanks to John, Marta, Cressida, Pia, Stuart, Prab, Mitul, Ali, Jas and Jayna for coming to make my day. 

Each and every one of them was a joy to see. 

Yep, I felt loved today. 🙂

Given that at 7 am I felt suicidal it goes to show how influential other people are in my life. 

And thanks to the whole lot of friends that continue to text, email, Facebook and Whattsapp me. 

It really makes a difference. 

And thanks to my lovely daughter, Amber whose phone call made my eyes light up. 

Xx

Making arrangements always seem like a great idea, the actuality of fulfilling them is often  mentally and physically harder than I anticipate. 

Getting in and out of the car continues to be a challenge.  The height differential between the car seat and the seat of my chair is invariably more than six inches and there’s about 15 inches sideway’s jump too. I continue to rely on a ‘slide board ‘ to traverse the void, and cannot possibly see how I’ll ever bloody do it without one, given the contortions I make to cross the gap. 

Admittedly the car’s not ideal, the door’s too small and my legs are too long, so get in the way. Progress in this dept has totally stalled, as have other manoeuvres too. 

The very real fear of falling into the kerb gap, injuring my sacrum yet again, prevents me hopping the chasm as I should one day manage. 

Christ almighty, for an athlete previously devoid of the fear emotion, my world has altered ridiculously. 

Friday night we stayed in, thanks to a last minute cancellation. Phew, tho I fell asleep very early. 

Saturday involved car journeys Lily’s school fair, to see Cherie ( who pummelled my already painful shoulders for 40 minutes) , and to Pia and Cliff’s for dinner, getting back at 1.30 am. 

Dan and Gerry called in to see me too, at around 4. Thanks guys. 

The fair featured very nice stalls, lucky dips and raffles, emptying my wallet totally…. 

Lily’s class mate, Sophie Dyson, provided truly fabulous piano and vocals for our entertainment. Google her – incredible voice for a 12 year old, not to mention amazing piano mastery. 

Cliff used his self taught carpentry skills to create ramps all over their house for me. And even painted them Dalek Grey. 

So thoughtful. Larry, Sarah, Bev and James were amusing company, doing such things as ‘the After Eight Challenge’…. ( forehead to mouth without using hands ..). 

I barely slept Saturday night, so was tired for Sundays birthday lunch for Dani’s sister, Sam. 

The real problem with all the generous commitments is that I hardly see my daughters. I’d estimate a maximum of 2 hours over the weekend spent with them in close proximity, which isn’t enough. 

Once they’ve played hockey, gone to parties/drama class/ seen their friends/ had sleepovers , there isn’t much time left for their Dad. 

Before I accepted it, now it’s hard.

I can’t wait to be discharged so I get to see more of them. They really don’t realise how sad not seeing them makes me. 

We’re committing to cut down our weekend engagements so I can get more family time in. 

At the moment I dread Sunday evenings, as it means a return to SM, kissing my children goodbye, having barely seen them. 

That’s got to change. 

Sleep tight. 

Yes, that’s right, you read it right. 

I was expecting videos of graphic wheelchair gymnastic sex, Cirque du Soleil style, maybe with a few dwarves thrown in. 

Instead I saw lots of diagrams and had a chat with a very nice lady in a wheelchair who told me how amazing HER sex life is now. 

She also claimed that any female that has tried it with a paraplegic would never go back to a regular guy……

Ok girls, who’s first? Book early to avoid disappointment. 

She showed me diagrams of the location of the female G spot. 

I explained to her that this mythical area was made up by lesbians and feminists to make husbands look bad. 

She ignored me. 

My mind began to wander, brought sharply back to focus by a picture of a girl wearing bondage gear, in a wheelchair, on her laptop, that flashed by, ‘flash frame style’ for a millisecond. 

As she declined flicking back to it, I can only assume that I was considered too mainstream to be allowed into that cheeky world just yet. 

Roll on lecture no. 2….

🙂

They work. 🙂