The thing about the iBot is that facility to stand me up. I really wasn’t born to be 3 feet 10. Well actually I was born to be about 15 inches, but then I grew a lot later on.

When you are the shortest person in the room you just can’t bloody see what’s going on. Last week I went to a gig in my iBot with Wendy, Leigh and Bev. It was the quite unique GLC, playing in Staines. Firstly it was weird going to Staines for the first time in years. I had my business there for 20 years, until my injury put pay to that, leading to my exit. To go back to Staines was a bit nostalgic for sure, as is so much when revisited in a wheelchair.

Anyway, in a small venue full of pretty pissed ( but friendly ) people, it enabled me to be right at the front – like Robocop in the Mosh Pit. The iBot is certainly fascinating to all males, it being a technological marvel up there on 2 wheels and not falling over.

As it happened I had wayyyy too much to drink ( carried away in the company of Welsh people and the Welsh band ) and I was DICOAI ( drunk in charge of an iBot ) – not clever when you are 13 miles from home and you’ve almost missed the last bus. I can’t even remember ( blimey, not good ) getting home. Thank God for Wendy then..

The Goldie Lookin Chain were just brilliant- as funny as f…. – there seminal track is called Your mother’s got a Penis … and they did it last. Just too funny those Welsh boys see.

Tidy.

Talking about Wales, yes we won last night against the Frogs. Bloody marvellous comeback it was ( especially on my Dad’s birthday! ) – watched by me on my mobile phone whilst at the gig – isn’t modern technology helpful!

Any volunteers to change my iBot inner tube- very welcome… it’s just like a bicycle tyre. My lack of ability to bend down means I just can’t get anywhere near it.

Maybe I can train the budgie?

Is there a Fanny Mechanic in the house….?!