Today I saw Jeremy, a top mate and fellow cyclist from that trip in June.
He showed me lots of pictures, including the spot I’d hit the road very hard.
The Tarmac was marked with a green cross.
It was chokingly emotional to see the place where one life ended and another fought for survival.
It suddenly dawned on me that I could remember early parts of the day. What for me my mind had filed as memories of a DIFFERENT trip, suddenly were revealed as THIS trip.
I remember taking an early morning swim, retrieving my bike from the locked van, and having breakfast on a sun bathed terrace.
I’d been convinced that all that happened the year before, in Spain. Now, in a flash they were the summer of 2013.
I’ve still not watched the video taken from my own bike’s camera of my actual crash. The camera sits in the corner of my kitchen, there every time I go home at the weekend.
Will it do me any good to watch it?
Who knows.
What would you do?
If it doesn’t show you lying on the ground, and you can’t see the rescuers or the panic that is always around an accident, maybe you’ll find it useful one day. Maybe your girls or Dani will. It’s all down to what the individual needs. Hang onto it, label it carefully, and if you (or someone who loves you) find yourself wondering one day, then it’s there.
Don’t let it be your kryptonite. (Scifi nerd strikes again!) 🙂
Jeremy’s seen it …. He said I was riding fine, then a motorbike came into my line of sight, I braked and, well we all know the rest.
Cor, that’s a tough one.
Being ridiculously curious I’d have watched it by now.
But if you’re not sure what’s on the tape or how traumatic it would be to see, then maybe you could get someone to pre-watch it for you? I do it for Grace all the time, because she doesn’t like gory bits in movies.
I don’t know if anyone very close to you (Dani, Stu) could do it, as it would be just as traumatic for them to see you going over the handlebars. Maybe ask a good friend? Or one of the people at SM?
Good luck with that, anyway.