March 22nd

Eventually, after much delay and a chunk of NHS procedural error, I do have a diagnosis of a positive UTI, explaining 3 nights of fever in a row, and a dip in my mood ( thou I was definitely the most cheerful of the 4 of us that went out to ‘ celebrate ‘ my daughter’s birthday last night, so the irony wasn’t wasted on me ).

When i wake in the night, drenched in sweat, it’s an odd one, because I can’t feel so much of me that it’s only by touching myself or the sheets with my hands that I know I’m soaked.  It’s not like I can jump out of bed and have a shower and change the sheets, so I have to do what I can to dry myself. I can get the pillow from underneath my head, so I pull off the pillowcase and use that as a towel, drop that to the floor, and then flip the  soaked duvet the other way around, so that the soaked bit is then on top and above my legs, and the dry bit is in contact with my chest.  I can’t do anything about the sheet beneath me that’s soaked, so I just have to put up with that…… so I add that to the already long list of things that I can’t let upset me…. and hope that I go back to sleep.


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