Advice from a resident…

Derby Tips…

Hi Russ,

So glad your friends are coming in today–a nice boost for your spirits! You indicated they are experienced Derby goers. As such, if they are REAL friends, they may frown upon you wearing those “statement” shoes. However, the entertainment value alone should compensate for any damage to your otherwise stylish reputation here in our fair city. (Be very grateful you don’t have to wear one of those hats the ladies were selling…)

I do not recommend drinking the Mint Juleps. They are horrid, but almost required for a first-timer. Just go along with it to please your hosts if pressed. When no one is looking, toss it into a potted plant.

Then of course you need to learn to sing “My Old Kentucky Home” before tomorrow. It is our state’s anthem and you’ll likely have to join in. Be sure to have enough alcohol in your system by that point so you can easily well up a few tears during the chorus that compels one to “Weep no more for My Old Kentucky Home…”

Wishing you a fun week with the festivities, and some laughs and hugs with your friends. Call if you need anything, anytime!

P.S. YOU picked the pink shoes from the others. You could’ve easily gone with the purple striped loafers if you preferred a more understated look. Please do not try to escape accountability for your questionable choices.

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