Today my spasming got worse and worse. Every time I tried to lean forward in my chair, the spasms pushed me right back. It went on for a long time. I noticed my attractive bag of wee didn’t seem to be filling as it should have done, as I’d ingested lots of water.

I then noticed that my groin area was wet. I called my carer from where I was and wheelchair’d back to the flat. I can’t get in without her help and I called her again. My spasms were getting worse and worse and my bladder was obviously not draining.

I called the District Nurse and they didn’t pick up, so I got help onto the bed and Rosanna pulled my trousers down. My stomach was very bloated and hard, my bladder evidently full and not draining. In desperation I syringed our the catheter balloon that holds it into my abdomen and pulled it out. Urine flowed out for a good 5 Minutes, soaking everything, despite desperate mopping up by Rosanna.

I spied a catheter box from across the room, not knowing that I even had a spare. Without really being able to see what I was doing I managed to insert a new catheter into my abdomen, and into my bladder, then syringing full thé 10ml balloon that keeps it in there. I’ve no idea how sterile my DIY was, but without help at my disposal I’d never have been able to do it.

Rosanna washed me and redressed me, and helped me back into my chair so that I could go out again to face the world, as I always try to do. She also stripped the bed and washed my sheets as I’m unable to access the washing machine myself.

I do try to be independent but really I’m so very vulnerable to unexpected mishaps, and need help at my disposal so very often. Without today’s help I’d have ended up completely soaked in Pee and ultimately helpless to do anything at all about it.

It really does affect me, that stark realisation.

1 thought on “Unhinging.

  1. I really feel for you. My Husband had a stroke and prostate cancer and couldn’t do anything for himself. He also had a catheter. He had me to help him. Feel so sorry for you, Margaret x x

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