I’m in the dinner queue outside what the staff still call ‘Jimmy’s’ – the cafe here. 

I was expecting a visitor or two but  they didn’t come due to an ailment. 
Anyway, here I am in the line of wheelchairs, waiting patiently for my gruel. 
I might go back and ask for ‘more’ later. 
I wonder if they’d all burst into song, Oliver style, if I did. 
The food’s not awful, but not great either. 
The delay’s probably cos the Cardboard into Food converting machine has  broken down. 
This time last year, I was just back to work, and a couple of weeks away from a ski trip to France, followed by a bus/bus/ train/train/bus trip to Italy to join another ski trip. 
I carried 3 pairs of skis and 2 cases on that little journey. Now it wouldn’t be physically possible for me to do it. 
I’ve just barely been able to lift my dinner tray off my lap and onto the table here. 
I’ve chosen a little table by myself, not feeling massively sociable, and found a copy of The Sun. 
‘I was sex slave in Fred’s old house’ is the headline. 
I went to a fancy dress a while back  and the theme was ‘criminals and crime stoppers’. 
Obviously, I went as Rosemary West ( wig, glasses, bag, skirt etc courtesy of Oxfam ). 
We stayed in a small B and B in Sussex. 
On the way down we’d bumped into Dan White and Pia in a petrol station. He refused to tell me what  they were going as, saying I’d never guess. 
We had rooms in the same B and B, opposite eachother in the same corridor. 
At about 8pm I opened the door to be confronted by… Yes, my twin sister (Dan, as Rose ) plus Fred West ( Pia ). 
Was an hilarious party. 
Actors had been hired to do a Murder Mystery thing. 
After about an hour they said ‘ if everyone doesn’t stop talking and messing about, we’re off ‘. 
Needless to say, they left shortly after, in a huff. 
The guy I thought was Earl, until I met Earl, has just sat opposite me. Avoiding eye contact, he put down his crutches, put on his baseball cap and his earphones, switched on his bad ass rap on his phone and is now sort of dancing in his dining chair. 
I’m not saying he’s fitting his stereotype, but some people might. 
He had one bite from his sandwich, ate his dessert and now he’s gone. 
That might be as exciting as it gets tonight. 
Great to see Pia last night though. 
I knew she’d be one of my first 2014 visitors. 🙂
She came as herself, not Fred. 

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