Well, well, there’s a situation.
I write a post about the reaction of a person that I barely knew, then that person writes an apologetic comment, owning up his his deed.
Do I forgive him?
Of course I do, it takes a big man to say sorry, and he has.
Does it change my general opinion of my so called colleagues?
No, that still stands. Far too many pretended not to see me, or made a pretty poor attempt at saying hello.
Given we are collectively classed as Healthcare Professionals, I am sadly more than justified in removing the second syllable of the first word.
Obviously they weren’t to know that I feel particularly low today. I don’t show it, being polite to everyone despite the dark thoughts inside my head again.
Last night was actually okay, where I did go to the bar and some lovely ex employees of mine came to find me. They don’t realise however how much I’m affected when they wave goodbye to go on to another venue that rules me out. Well I can’t expect people to base their night around me, can I?
I met a guy who for 4 hours didn’t walk over to say hello, then eventually did; a guy who I’ve scuba dived in World War 2 wrecks with, in extreme situations where we had to trust eachother to save the other’s life if things went badly wrong.
He could do that, yet not cross a bar for 4 hours.
Again I don’t hold a grudge – not at all – I talked to him about how his behaviour affected me, and he fully accepted and agreed with my point of view.
It was good to see him, and he pledged that we’d dive again together in the future ( something that is possible as a paraplegic )
I had 3 current employees here too. They did the ‘ where have you been all weekend?! ‘ line, when I saw them 24 hours after my arrival. Perhaps just a text asking if I needed anything, a day earlier, would have been better…
My dark thoughts don’t go away though. I’m in a hotel room for a further night. It’s lonely. Tomorrow I’ve planned to go again to try proper adapted canoeing, an hour’s drive from here.
If they don’t do room service I won’t eat tonight – I have no enthusiasm for self preservation at the moment – probably not good, given the inherent risks of boats and water combined with my bad luck tendency.