When I think about the fact that pretty much everything has become more difficult, rather than less difficult to do – all the physical things, I mean – it now makes sense.

The pain that I can’t feel has manifested itself as spasms and rigidity. When I see other paraplegics, they are able to ( with their hands ) move their legs about pretty easily to helpful positions ( to get into cars/ out of cars/ onto bed etc etc ) very easily. I have been increasingly unable to do that stuff, everything having gone stiff below my injury. I’ve actually put on about 6 pounds in muscle ( below my injury ) as my legs muscles have been contracting, and growing. Whilst it’s not particularly aesthetic to have spindly legs, it does make life easier when they’re lighter when you’ve only got your arms.

I try to see some sort of light at the end of this long tunnel, even though the best case scenario isn’t exactly rosy.

2 thoughts on “Sunday

  1. In the scheme of things I guess you’d rather be physically able to swap places with me and do the helicopter survival course I’m on tomorrow. I’m not looking forward to it any more than you’re looking forward to two days in hospital, but I bet what you’re doing is better for you in the end. I’ll be thinking of you to help me get through what I’m expecting will be a pretty terrifying experience! We both need to be brave!! Lots of love Mary xx

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