When I think about the fact that pretty much everything has become more difficult, rather than less difficult to do – all the physical things, I mean – it now makes sense.
The pain that I can’t feel has manifested itself as spasms and rigidity. When I see other paraplegics, they are able to ( with their hands ) move their legs about pretty easily to helpful positions ( to get into cars/ out of cars/ onto bed etc etc ) very easily. I have been increasingly unable to do that stuff, everything having gone stiff below my injury. I’ve actually put on about 6 pounds in muscle ( below my injury ) as my legs muscles have been contracting, and growing. Whilst it’s not particularly aesthetic to have spindly legs, it does make life easier when they’re lighter when you’ve only got your arms.
I try to see some sort of light at the end of this long tunnel, even though the best case scenario isn’t exactly rosy.