The spasms did eventually stop, though seem to once again be a feature of my day/ night.

I do mentally cope with them better these days, I think since I have been taking antidepressants ( a month or more ).  Given my suicide on July 21st, antidepressants seem an obvious place to start with my ‘ management ‘ though to my surprise my GP practice is actually refusing to supply any, as they want some sort of paperwork first….. and the psychiatrist that I saw 3 weeks ago hasn’t got around to writing a letter, and neither has the hospital that received me from the Air Ambulance. Ive not yet received any sort of follow up at all from the NHS, despite being passed to the Crisis Team for their ‘ care ‘.  All comically bad,  isn’t it? If it weren’t for all the lovely mates that I have, it’s almost certain that I’d have topped myself all over again shortly after I almost succeeded 6 weeks ago.

I’ve visited my buddy in hospital every day since I last posted – he’s coming out tomorrow… which might be interesting. Fingers strongly crossed that it goes well. Today he was talking to me, and in the process started talking to me about me – except that he evidently didn’t know that he was, thinking I was someone else… thankfully he didn’t say anything too awful about me, to me. I hope you’re following all this?

Charlie P turned up the other day from Hong Kong. He lived with me in Cardiff Uni for 2 years, and we have had a lot of laughs together, usually at each other. He and Toby T helped me to adjust my arm bike back rest/ seat, to sit me more upright, and adjusted the head rest too. Today I went for a 20 mile ride with Sam, Dickon, Pistol Pete and Glenn. I was better than I was last week, not getting so breathless so quickly, which was a positive for sure. I’m way, way behind the aerobic fitness level that I was a couple of years ago, but I am going to improve. I’ll have to, as we go to Portugal in less than 3 weeks and I’ll need to ride around 100 km per day, for 3 days. I’m optimistic that I’ll be able to do it, though the guys will have to be patient, which they won’t mind, I know.

I had my first archery lesson yesterday. It was good! I was ok at it I think- apparently a lot of people are far worse, anyway. Pia opted in as well, though I’ll decline to say which one of us missed the large target altogether most often. I go again tomorrow for my second lesson. My instructor told me, laughing, that it’s still apparently legal to shoot dead a Welshman on a Sunday from the ramparts of Cardiff Castle, with a bow and arrow. I then mentioned that I am Welsh. He did stop laughing quite so hard, momentarily  at least.

Id like to thank everyone that I’ve mentioned, plus Cressida for dinner, recently.

Oh, and thanks to Rob for de crating the second hand iBot that I bought from America on eBay in November. Toby was first on, and was like a kid with a toy… and I tried it today. What an amazing thing!


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