It’s perhaps the first time that I’ve felt lucky since my accident.
I visited my partner, Selcuk, in his home. As expected I couldn’t see him face to face as he was in bed, upstairs. I used FaceTime on my phone to see his face and speak to him, telling him how I felt and how many people are praying for him ( religious or not )
Now that his tumour has grown back with alarming speed and filled the void left after its last excision, he is paralysed down his right side and cannot speak. His left eye is closed. The visiting nurse told me that he cannot swallow very well anymore, and that he is no longer being fed. He is kept hydrated ( to a degree ) by injection and bodily functions have virtually ceased.
His brother, Tanju, assured me that Sel’s slight reaction did indicate that he was aware of what I ( and my/his friends Irfan and Sheila who both came with me ) were saying to him, and Sel did appear to be trying to speak, but how much he actually understood I’ll never know. Sheila’s tears were a reaction to the shock of seeing Selcuk’s emaciated and still body, having last seen him arguably at his physical and mental peak, 5-6 years ago.
I will encourage his staff and colleagues to go and visit him as soon as possible, it being in all likelihood a now or never scenario.
I had intended to go to work after my visit, but decided that being alone with my thoughts was my only option.