Today I’ve had thoughts of the darkest sort, the sort that I used to get often, and was very relieved to have behind me. 5 days of a combination of fever and spasms, tiredness and confused thinking, has had an effect on me. I punch my legs hard in bloody frustration, but that doesn’t help to stop the interminable hard jerking that has been rocking the whole bed for an hour. Going to bed early in the hope of sleep isn’t any good unless sleep is possible, and it hasn’t been at all. Taking a sleeping tablet ( for the first time in âgés )? 90 minutes ago seems to have not had any effect at all, and it’s really pissing me off, frankly.
I have no idea what to do except write this and wait and hope for sleep.