A good friend had a big birthday party tonight in London.

Obviously I knew that by coming to France I’d miss it.

I did think about it for some time before I opted to choose trying my hand at skiing again over going to a  big night where I’d see lots of friends, plus the birthday girl.

It’s very easy ( in fact automatic now ) to convince myself that the party will be more straightforward for quite a few people if I don’t go, making my chosen option easier.

Pre injury I’d not have missed this party, no way. It’s just that now I feel odd at lots of social events. It’s not that I don’t want to go. I want very much to go. But not like this, not in this bloody wheelchair.

I’ve got a significant birthday coming up ( 30th ) but I really don’t know if I want to publicly ‘celebrate ‘ it . I thought I did a few months back, but now I’m erring on staying in and being depressed instead .. Hmmmm

I’m sure I’ve said this stuff before anyway.

So, I hope the night went well and that everyone had a fantastic time. It’ll no doubt be going on for a few hours yet, by which time I ought to be asleep. However……my bloody spasms are back – a bit different tonight – every 45 seconds or so only, but really violent ones.

I need sleep, so I hope I get some.