Ouch.

Just been helped into my chair.

Sat up and doubled up/ bent the pressure on my wound is far more, so it hurts a lot now. As I can’t just get back into bed, it’s how it’s going to be for the day, and at least I can leave the room now, which I will shortly.  I really don’t like being alone, so I’ll get out of the hospital to at least see the normal world. I really should have arranged things to do, and had I known I’d be able to get out, I would have done.

When i saw one of the staff here yesterday, she and I talked about the time in late October, when she ( along with the Ward manager )  had the task of telling me that my then wife had phoned to say that I was barred from ‘ home’ and that the locks would be changed. She brought in brochures for care homes that my then wife had proposed I go and live in .. it was the night before my 4th ( and most risky ) operation. I went on line and investigated the legality of doing such a thing, and found that it was VERY much illegal, particularly in light of my circumstances.  I was also advised to alter my Will, which I did, and had to ask my doctors to certify me as sane, in case of legal challenge to the validity of my Will, in the event of me dying in surgery.  It was certainly all happening that night.. on the eve of a yet another huge operation.

The lady yesterday described it as ‘ a very awkward moment for her ‘ when she had to deliver my ex wife’s message ‘.  No wonder, poor girl. She said that they’d never experienced anything like that in the hospital before… not surprising really ? I recall being more than a bit stunned myself obviously.  At least it gave me something to think about that night, my recently ré-engaged brain going into overdrive, faced with that bleak looking imminent future.

Finding myself back in this hospital, in pain, puts me back a bit, although of course it will shortly improve ( pain wise ) and I’ll be better off than I was. Ringing the bell for a nurse here doesn’t actually result in one coming, so painkillers are not arriving as I’d hoped.  The last time I was here I seemed to be completely overrun by staff, to the point where it was incredibly hard to be alone for more than a few minutes, but I suppose that the severity of my operations dictated far more attention.

Right, off to find a nurse. As one won’t come to me, I’ll go searching.

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