( This post was written in the morning of Sunday July 23rd, after I had calmly ended my life, approximately 11 hours before. I can only vaguely remember writing it, and didn’t know ( by far ) the full extent of what had happened to me, because I simply couldn’t remember any of the aftermath )
Trust me to employ a carer that has worked in paramedics. When she heard my altered breathing at 1am and investigated, she found me lying in blood sodden bed sheets.
I was apparently taken by the Air Ambulance, but i remember nothing at all.
For better or for worse, I am alive because of Stella’s actions. I certainly didn’t expect or want to wake up, not this time.
Am i glad I’m alive ? No, I’m not, but I do realise that a few other people don’t want me dead.
What rollercoaster I ride.
Im sorry though for taking a few others on the trip with me.
And for wasting such a valuable resource