My weekend.

… Was as full as always 

Making arrangements always seem like a great idea, the actuality of fulfilling them is often  mentally and physically harder than I anticipate. 
Getting in and out of the car continues to be a challenge.  The height differential between the car seat and the seat of my chair is invariably more than six inches and there’s about 15 inches sideway’s jump too. I continue to rely on a ‘slide board ‘ to traverse the void, and cannot possibly see how I’ll ever bloody do it without one, given the contortions I make to cross the gap. 
Admittedly the car’s not ideal, the door’s too small and my legs are too long, so get in the way. Progress in this dept has totally stalled, as have other manoeuvres too. 
The very real fear of falling into the kerb gap, injuring my sacrum yet again, prevents me hopping the chasm as I should one day manage. 
Christ almighty, for an athlete previously devoid of the fear emotion, my world has altered ridiculously. 
Friday night we stayed in, thanks to a last minute cancellation. Phew, tho I fell asleep very early. 
Saturday involved car journeys Lily’s school fair, to see Cherie ( who pummelled my already painful shoulders for 40 minutes) , and to Pia and Cliff’s for dinner, getting back at 1.30 am. 
Dan and Gerry called in to see me too, at around 4. Thanks guys. 
The fair featured very nice stalls, lucky dips and raffles, emptying my wallet totally…. 
Lily’s class mate, Sophie Dyson, provided truly fabulous piano and vocals for our entertainment. Google her – incredible voice for a 12 year old, not to mention amazing piano mastery. 
Cliff used his self taught carpentry skills to create ramps all over their house for me. And even painted them Dalek Grey. 
So thoughtful. Larry, Sarah, Bev and James were amusing company, doing such things as ‘the After Eight Challenge’…. ( forehead to mouth without using hands ..). 
I barely slept Saturday night, so was tired for Sundays birthday lunch for Dani’s sister, Sam. 
The real problem with all the generous commitments is that I hardly see my daughters. I’d estimate a maximum of 2 hours over the weekend spent with them in close proximity, which isn’t enough. 
Once they’ve played hockey, gone to parties/drama class/ seen their friends/ had sleepovers , there isn’t much time left for their Dad. 
Before I accepted it, now it’s hard.
I can’t wait to be discharged so I get to see more of them. They really don’t realise how sad not seeing them makes me. 
We’re committing to cut down our weekend engagements so I can get more family time in. 
At the moment I dread Sunday evenings, as it means a return to SM, kissing my children goodbye, having barely seen them. 
That’s got to change. 
Sleep tight. 

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