Maybe it’s just me?

I’ve written before about how this injury can be different for some people, the less active amongst us. When I was in Stoke Mandeville, in my ward there were people who just seemed OK with it, whilst I was in complete shock.
There was a 19 year old girl who just seemed, well.. smiley. Her fiancée was in the hospital every day with her – I think he may have somehow stayed there?

I was devastated for her, for them, just assuming that their young lives and future were ruined by her paralysis.
The other day I found her ( via social media ) and saw that her profile picture was of an ultrasound scan of a baby ( yes, SCI women can conceive just as ‘ easily’ as normal women ).
I messaged her, pleased for her, but also assuming that life must be a huge psychological struggle, deprived of so much physical ability – as it is for me.

I was surprised by our conversation.

You’re pregnant ?????

I am indeed ?x

That’s good!
And married?!

Yea sure is were over the moon and yea got married September and was pregnant end of January x

All you ever wanted?!

Exactly that x

And what about the SCI ?
That wasn’t on the list of things you wanted?
What do you do these days? X

No that wasn’t hahaha and at the moment being sick and lack of sleep is what I’m doing hahahaha x
How are you doing ? xxx

Tell me what you’ve done since Stoke Mandeville – briefly.
Other than marriage and getting pregnant ?

Not much really, had different appointments and sorting our house and stuff ahahah x

You sound happy? X

yeah I couldn’t be happier to be honest were away at the moment in our caravan we have in Great Yarmouth xxxx

Lucky you !
How on earth u get into a caravan???

? it has a ramp xx

To be honest, you never really looked like you really minded being paralysed, that much.
Anything that you miss about not being paralysed ?xx

So what’s your level?

No, it hasn’t really bothered me much to be fair – erm normal bowels and bladder xx
Yeah that’s the bit I miss about being paralysed hahah xxx

But otherwise you’re pretty ok with the whole paralysis thing? Xx
I guess *** is always there to help you?

Yeah, I am to be fair, and yeah he is xx

To me, the above is just inconceivable.
Perhaps her family and friends call her ‘ amazing’ – that being paralysed hasn’t dented her at all – she’s just the same as before – but has a ramp for the caravan now.

She definitely doesn’t read this blog, and won’t ever.

I suppose if you never lived, you don’t know what you’re missing – as proven here.

She is indeed amazing – both amazingly lucky to still be happy, and amazingly unlucky to think that what she has is all there is in life.

But what do I know?

6 thoughts on “Maybe it’s just me?

  1. For the first time since reading this blog, I disagree with you russ. Why would you feel sorry for someone who is really happy ? Have you read
    The Story of the Mexican Fisherman
    Written by Courtney Carver

    I’ve just returned from Bhutan where they have gross national happiness instead of gross national product. We were trying to explain what suicide was to the people there but they couldn’t understand as they had never heard of it !!!

    1. I don’t feel sorry for her?
      I envy her state of happiness.
      In my post I said ‘ but what do I know?’ – as in .. Maybe it’s me that’s got it all wrong.

      It wouldn’t be enough for me / this life isn’t currently enough for me ..
      But maybe I need a caravan with a ramp?

  2. I think she has found the secret of life. Finding happiness in what you have is a wonderful thing. It’s been the key to getting out of my depression, that much I know.

    1. I don’t think she was ever unhappy.
      That is the extraordinary thing to me.

      I envy her state of mind, but not her satisfaction with so little. To me it’s just not a life.

      1. But Russ, I think that IS the secret of life: to find satisfaction in very little. That doesn’t mean to say you can’t have ambition or strive to achieve more, just that you should cherish and be grateful for what you have. Every day I am grateful for my daughter running around and talking to me (or sometimes leaving me hilariously stroppy notes that prove she’s almost a teenager), for the roof over our heads, the clothes on our backs and the food in our fridge. As you know, I’m not very well off, but I’m far from despondent about my life. This is how I achieve that. x

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