So… Boris is ‘ a Christian’

Yesterday I found myself at a ( wait for it ) Catholic Miracle Healing day…. in North London.

After a conversation about what I’d do to not be paralysed, and how far ‘ out of the box’ id go, I agreed to go with Boris to this packed event.

Having only seen miracles in films, I was a touch curious. Boris seemed fairly confident that I’d walk back from Euston, having ditched my chair.

Not wanting to piss on his bonfire, I went with an open mind, tbh.

Boris bounced into my room at 8am, washed, dressed and with tea and breakfast. He enthused about our day ahead, speaking in sentences without long gaps, and …. SMILING!

I thought that given the prospect of just going had induced this miraculous transformation in him,  then surely merely rendering me not paralysed ought be a piece of cake…

Myself and HappySmiley went by train and road to Euston, and joined the other happy clappers. The joy in the room was indeed lovely.

Various speakers talked in ( rambling deliveries ) about the Big Man  in the room with us – for hours, and hours.

Cut to 7pm ( we got there at 10.45am ) and it was time to be cured. I readied myself for my jog home,  though wondered if I had the right trainers on and cursed myself for not thinking about wearing proper running shorts.

A total of 153 people in the room indicated that they had experienced incredible changes in their physical conditions over the next 3 hours, though neither myself or the other 2 paraplegics at the front noticed any differences. Boris was at a loss to explain it, having spent the previous 9 hours either laughing slightly manically, dancing and clapping, or weeping like a child, having totally abandoned his completely miserable insensitive bastard persona in front of the other disciples.

Dont worry! Today he’s recovered and is back to his old self – completely unhelpful, slightly hostile, and apathetic about anything that I need.

I was moved to ask him if he really considered himself a Christian, and whether Jesus would approve of his temperament and attitude.

Needless to say, communication and conversation reverted to solemnity and scowled responses.

I have to say, I’ve had enough of him, and am working on a replacement ASAP..

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