Category Archives: Events

There is definitely a problem with Male carers.

What I said –

Could I please have 2 cups of tea, and could you open both blinds and the door to the terrace?

What carer hears –

Can I have one cup of tea?


I am on a cycle of essentially repeating myself two or even 3 times for ever request I make.

I have a Male temp ( 12 hours only ).  He arrived, and within half an hour had knocked over a glass and smashed it. I haven’t dropped a glass in years, and you try carrying one whilst pushing your wheelchair at the same time ( and not being able to put the glass between your knees, as you have no control over your legs ) Then he dropped the wooden towel dispenser thing no less than 4 times in succession? How do you even do that?

Yesterday my 12 hour lady carer knocked over a metre tall glass vase and smashed it. This vase has recently survived 2 trips in removal vans as well as obviously being carried into and out of the vans by removal guys, up and down stairs.

Also i wish thé carers could stop asking me if my legs feel ok ( after I explain I cannot feel a thing ) and if my trousers feel comfortable, and if my shoes are tight enough, and if I should perhaps just try to walk a bit… it’s actually slightly tormenting…rather than helpful or nice.

Thanks Vitaly.

My long term handy man came round yesterday. An old school Russian, who speaks no more English now than he did 25 years ago, what a versatile fella he is. His lovely wife comes to translate and also assist.

He did loads of stuff for me, as did she, and at the end, come payment time, they said ‘ because you’ve been such a loyal client and given us so much recommendation over the years, we wanted to do all this for free ‘.  Bless them, and thank you both.

So if anyone reading this needs a bloke that can mend virtually anything at all, please ask me for his contact details. Of course in Soviet Communist Russia, it was a case of ‘mend things or go without’ as it was impossible to replace stuff like all tradesmen do here – the Just Throw it Away and Get Another One culture..

So, I now have –

Another TV on the wall

An irrigation system for the garden

Secure fixings to lock bikes to outside

An outside double power point for charging loads of stuff that’s too big to keep inside

Speaker cables through the walls to the outside for outside speakers

Intelligent bulbs that work on Siri and Alexa, so I just ask thé lights to turn off – dead handy when you are Paralysed and can’t just get to the switches

An outside table and benches that are now safe to use, as they are  properly stuck together, unlike before when you were liable to end up on the floor if you sat on them. Obviously I don’t,  as i dont / cant sit on them!

We missed the gig on Thursday as yet another person drove into yet another bridge, so the trains weren’t working. Doh! Best laid plans etc etc. Made a judgment call to not cycle another 5 Miles with my girlfriend ( not used to London traffic yet ) so drank wine instead. Ahhh well, we had a lovely time anyway.

This weekend we go to a music festival – well providing i can get the blimmin car MOT’d by then.. OR we get trains to Amersham. Don’t know yet ! Life is an adventure, isn’t it?

The care agency and I have parted company. I wonder if the next one will be better. If you ever need a Carer, i dont recommend CERA . Today though I have Harriet, who is ever so good.


Thé Carer i have at the moment is very kind hearted but doesn’t ever speak! 😂 So she’s not good company….
It’s like being by myself when she is with me, so it’s not what I want, at all.

Its the black South African thing, where there is this deference to white people. It’s definitely sad that it’s that way, isn’t it? It’s great that she actually works, and isn’t lazy, and doesn’t skive ( well not a tenth as much as the last 2 men ) but it’s not what I want, which is sometimes as simple s as a chat.

So now I’m watching TV – which shows how desperate I must be… never mind, I see my girlfriend tomorrow and we’ll have a great night in North London.

Bring that on!

An e-mail to my ‘ care’ agency.


As someone who has spent time in a care-based role I felt that it is important to give you some important feedback regarding one of your Carers (Arunis) that I witnessed in action when I was visiting my boyfriend, Russell Dawkins, from 11th to 12th July.

Unfortunately, Arunis showed a complete lack of competence and empathy as well as an inability to perform the basic necessities required in a role as a Carer and I have outlined my observations for you below.

When we were all leaving the apartment on the evening of 11th July, Arunis was asked if he had made sure all the doors were locked and he confirmed that they had been.  When I went to check, Russ’ bedroom door leading to the outside had been left unlocked.  Also, Arunis was about to leave the apartment with no key (having previously had to get Russ to let him in because he’d gone out without a key).  This was not only irresponsible and dangerous, but also showed an inability to learn from previous mistakes.

During my entire visit Arunis was not proactive in helping Russ to settle into his apartment – having recently moved in there is lots to do.  There was also a lack of helping to clean and maintain basic hygiene in the apartment.  Russ had to ask Arunis to take the overflowing bin out and Arunis then argued that he couldn’t because he had checked and there were no bin bags.  Russ then had to get the bin bags out himself and show Arunis where to go to take the bin out as he was incapable of following basic instructions and finding the way himself.

On the morning of the 12th, I was trying to teach Arunis how to make baked oats so that he could prepare Russ a nutritious breakfast in the future.  He was totally disinterested and said porridge is easier and quicker and proceeded to make himself porridge.  When I explained that Russ can’t have gluten or dairy, Arunis challenged this and said that he didn’t believe it.  Dismissing a patient’s requirements and wishes is not acceptable from someone who is a Carer.  That same morning Russ asked Arunis to make him his Marmite drink and Arunis brought two cups of boiling liquid.  When I said that it was too hot and that Russ would end up with severe burns if he spilt it Arunis proceeded to argue that it was fine as the kettle had boiled 10 minutes ago.  This argumentative behaviour was a problem that I witnessed throughout my stay. Unfortunately, Arunis repeated this and brought Russ his Marmite drink which was too hot again that evening.

Arunis’ attitude was, in my opinion, unacceptable from someone who is caring for a vulnerable person and at some points bordered on causing possible harm (providing boiling drinks to someone with limited mobility in bed is dangerous).

I feel that it is imperative to bring these points to your attention so that you can review your procedures and ensure that the staff you provide are adequately screened and trained so that they can provide at the very least a safe and acceptable level of care.

Thank you for taking the time to read this feedback and I look forward to receiving your response.

Best wishes,




I told you.

We i did, to be fair.

Latest Male carer is proving himself to be bone idle.

I’ve gone from Boris Karloff to Lurch from The Adam’s Family.

How do these people get care positions??


My email to the agency just now –

‘Whilst he is actually going before long, I’m deeply disappointed with this carer. After not being able to clean or even answer the door, ‘this evening he said that he hadn’t eaten all day and somehow that is my fault ? Who is caring for who here? He did nothing at all until 1 pm as my girlfriend made breakfast and helped me wash and dress and transfer to my chair. He didn’t offer me lunch and I had none. I then went out at 4.30 until 8. Then I made my own dinner on a barbecue outside.
I asked him to pour me a small glass of wine and he gave me half of a whole bottle in a glass filled to thé very top. When I asked what on Earth he was doing… he said ‘ well last time you drank it and I had to give you some more later on,  so I just gave you more this time instead of having to fill it up again ‘

Seriously – what can this man actually do that s right ?’

It’s coming home.

What is?

The England football team, I’d say, tomorrow morning.

Surely this nonsense can’t go on and on? They were no good when they left for Russia, so how can they possibly be good enough to win the World Cup?

I do want to watch it though, so I can be the minority supporter in a vast crowd of English people.

I had 2 sets of tickets to 2 different gigs tonight. One is in Somerset House ( Sigrid ) and the other in Brixton ( All Saints ). I wanted to see Sigrid so I emailed and then phoned too, for clarification on their intention to screen the match first ie if they were going to. I pointed out that if they didn’t, then almost everyone would not show up… get this – they said that they would make a plan a few hours before the game,but not actually tell anyone what the plan was

So im in the Electric in Brixton – massive screen and All Saints after the game.

Somehow in VIP area chatting to Mel from All Saints dad…?!!

And Croatia are looking ever so on top, suddenly.

Not sure if I’m a Serb or a Croat… but I’m one of them…

Blimey, it was like an episode off DIY SOS here today ?! All these lovely mates and the odd professional turning up at more or less the same time to help me out.

Today I have, in no particular order, got

TV’s on walls 2

Garden outside tap and hose connected

Ceiling hook and TRX attachéd to enable me to transfer from wheelchair to wheelchair



Phone line

Lights on ceilings

Arranged a hot date for Wednesday s gig  – thats now today !

Fireplace installation

Outside decorative lights

Outside already installed lights

Wine drinking

My prescription medications

Coffee in Chiswick

Financial advice

New carer ( having sacked Boris for complete and final incompetence )   Today he refused point blank to tell me what he’d done for the previous 2  hours that I’d obviously paid him for, instead just choosing to smile at me in a creepy way whilst yawning – seriously odd behaviour?



Obviously I reported all to CERA, thé hopeless care  agency that provided him, though they seem only to give pathetic excuses for his behaviour    They forget that I have actually employed hundreds of people in my former life, so absolutely can tell the good from the bad, pretty quickly. I really would NOT recommend their services

Massive thanks to Marby, Ben the plumber and Lal thé Buider


I asked Boris to move a desk top fan for me. As he moved it, the base fell off altogether.  He didn’t seem to notice that at all, despite it being a foot long.

Then he did see it. He picked it up and held it, and looked at me.

He then said ‘ what do you want me to do with this?’

Why would he even ask me?

I currently have the BT engineer here. Get this – he  won’t actually do anything himself ( as it’s against  company policy to attach any cables – like TV power or the aerial câble to the socket, or an HDMI cable to anything at all   He just looks at me and is perfectly fine with proposing that I try to do it ( which is impossible for me  because I cant move the telly )   He’s a strong guy of about 25, ( with ever so nicely coiffed hair and a fair bit of holding gel typa stuff in it, that he flicks occasionally, and has very strong aftershave and a tight fitting T shirt ) for whom it would be easy.

All attempts to persuade him to just help me, fail  He says he can’t touch anything that looks ‘ precarious’   The TV is firmly on a large padded stool, and only a strong earthquake would dislodge it, however he won’t touch it at all, or connect anything at all to it. I have to rely on the technically retarded Boris to assist him. It’s not at all funny

When I say ‘ can you just plug that in/ press that button ?’ he gets quite annoyed and says ‘ look we’ve been through this!’

I offer him a coffee. He says yes . I feel like asking if he’d like to use his own arms to drink it, or should I help, in which case I’d explain that I can’t because it’s against my policy on coffee drinking in my home.

Typically ‘ they aren’t BT, they are a company that BT uses, so there’s no point in complaining about it ‘


I’d  explained to BT that I needed help  I asked him to phone his manager, who says it’s too bad and company policy  across the board anyway. So they come to connect you, but won’t actually touch things.


Has the whole world gone mad? I’ve written a complaint, but I have no faith they’ll even read it.

I said to Boris that I’d been surprised by just how unhelpful the chap had been. Boris is careful not to agree with me on anything… and simply says ‘ do you think he was a homosexual….?’

That threw me slightly, wondering about the relevance of the question..  as I’m clearly in touch with my feminine side, and the type of guy that just goes to gigs brazenly with another man, I have no Gaydar at all.

I think I might wear that pink jumpsuit tonight….