I’m trying to adjust to the novelty of my life having become ‘ stable’. For 6 years it was chaotic, with unforeseen complications and disasters seemingly around every corner. I became understandably pessimistic, borne of my having to be realistic about just how often some bloody hurdle would appear in front of me. When you can’t actually jump at all, hurdles can look impossible to pass, but of course you can actually go under them or around them, which is what I seemed to do. For a bit now, no new hurdles have materialised, and that’s very good news! It also allows me to think without constant distraction, and also to ‘ enjoy ‘ the ‘peace’. I still have all the challenges 24/7 that come with paralysis, but, if you like, that’s all. I’ve found myself watching TV and even reading books, things that for ages I’ve just not been able to do, as I just couldn’t ‘ waste time ‘ on those unproductive pursuits. But now I can, it seems. Last night I watched a film ( and blimey there are so many to choose from when you haven’t watched films much for 15 years ). It was called The Big Short, and was about the collapse of the American housing market, which happened because a few savvy people realised the obvious – that the real estate just wasn’t worth the values that money making institutions had given it, and loaned loads of cash to people that they never should loaned to. Some of the film scenarios were I’m sure invented, but based on reality. They had one scene where a stripper ( yep – only talent was taking off her clothes- so possibly a short term career ..? ) had been loaned enough money to have 5 mortgages on 5 big houses. Yes, she had tenants paying the rent, but in the event of losing the tenants then she didn’t really have any kind of medium term guaranteed income. You get the gist I’m sure. Anyway, the whole system collapsed and banks went bust, with 6 million people ‘losing’ their homes ( as in the homes they should never have been allowed to ‘ buy’ in the first place ). Loads of people lost their jobs, and with that loads lost their health ( because that’s apparently what happens ) People die and people also commit suicide.

The system was totally corrupt and fraudulent. All sorts of regulations were introduced, but the footnote was that actually the same practices were reintroduced, packaged differently to look like something else.

I know the odd person that lives a lifestyle that is actually way beyond the one that they can actually afford, one just based on borrowing and debt, that ultimately can’t be repaid. Who knows how often people ride that horse all the way til they die, and never pay the debts back. It’s risky for sure, but obviously you can have a lot of fun with someone else’s money. It depends how you can cope with it when/ if your debt catches up with you and the mirage suddenly evaporates leaving you with just your pants/ knickers and flip flops…. your ‘ friends ‘ won’t bale you out, that’s for SURE…

Good film – watch it.