A golfer is cupping his hand to scoop water from a Highland burn on the St Andrews
course. A green keeper shouts: ‘Dinnae drink tha waater! Et’s foo ae coo’s ****e
The golfer replies: ‘My Good fellow, I’m from England. Could you repeat that
for me, in English!?’
The keeper replies: ‘I said, use two hands – you’ll spill less that way!