Last night my mood lifted a little perhaps and I slept for 7 hours or so.

When I woke I felt OK.

Two hours later I realised that I’d spent 90 minutes just sitting in my wheelchair in my bathroom doing nothing except ignoring the phone ringing.

I’d like to hear the voices of my children, but one is skiing and the other I don’t know what.

Today hasn’t start well and I have no interest in doing anything at all.

3 thoughts on “

  1. Hi Russ.

    And they say men can’t express their feelings!! Wow you have certainly given it your best shot!

    Actually I cannot even begin to imagine how bad you are feeling as I have never had any major physical illness so far.

    I did however work for a long time as a Speech Therapist with kids with cerebral palsy and then in a young disabled unit mainly with head injury patients. I also have a niece with cerebral palsy . I have sat in on enough case conferences to know how tiresome and debilitating bladder, bowel and spasm problems can be. Your main problem seems to be these maddening spasms and I do hope you feel you are getting all the medical help you can with those. If you don’t feel you have had enough help you will have to keep nagging, asking for a second opinion etc. until you feel all avenues have been explored.

    You are obviously someone who has great mental strength, very few people have the self discipline to undertake the physical and sporting challenges that have been part of your life previously. Most of us are happy to slouch on the sofa and watch other people exerting themselves on the telly . The fact that you were so involved with so many physical activities must make your post accident state even more difficult to cope with. This blog is titled “back on track” and I sincerely hope you can do that very soon. It is obviously going to have to be a very different track but I am sure you can find enjoyable activities to undertake in the future even if they are more intellectual than physical.

    I know you are of the opinion talking therapies or medication cannot help you much but your present mood is so low and is messing up your personal relationships surely it is worth giving it a go? I find your remarks about your kids might be better off with a different Dad almost crazy talk! I am 100 percent sure your kids only want you as a Dad even if you are in a wheelchair. You are the one who has been there for them all through their lives and as you say they are happy , healthy, and beautiful kids so you and Dani have obviously got it right! Speaking as a granny there is lots more fun to come so just stay with the programme Russ!

    I will shut up soon but please don’t sit there on your own not answering your phone, it could be a mate suggesting an outing or a member of your family worried about you and wanting to talk. Of course it could be a cold caller but there is a certain pleasure in giving her or him a piece of your mind!

    Best Wishes

    Judy

  2. Please do answer the phone. It may be your girls also longing to hear your voice. Or your brother (who strangely seems to be friends with mine on fb ..?), or one of the many many many other people who care and are concerned. It’s a sunny day here. Hope it is, or gets that way where you are, in every sense.

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