I get fairly regularly Messages from lovely people Who start or finish the message with :

Hope all good in USA!

Hope you’re having a great time in the States!

Ok, so I know that the sentiment is well placed, but this is how a fairly typical day might go, and it’s now mid day.

Wake 6.15, as my legs are twitching, indicating that I need to stick a long tube into my penis to access my bladder ( done in bed ).

Pull on clothes ( that I’ve left on my bed ) whilst lying down.

Transfer into my chair, wheel down the long corridor, to the lift.

Wheel into the ‘breakfast room ‘ downstairs and put 2 bananas onto my ( unfeeling ) lap.

Wheel through 2 ( hard to push thro ) doors onto the pavement.
Put brakes on to eat bananas – no, you can’t wheel and eat at the same time.

Push for 15 minutes to the hospital, through busy traffic and road works.

Get to Frazier and have 12 electrodes stuck to parts I can’t feel.
Get suspended in a harness and electrocuted for an hour or so.

Get taken down, and electrodes put on places that I can only feel in a horribly hypersensitive way.
Further VERY PAINFUL electrocution for 30 minutes.

Gym, arm bike for an hour, really calling on my resolve to keep going – more about that later.

Another visit to toilet for ‘ In chair penis violation ‘.

So far, my day is, as they go, fairly pleasant.

Today I soon see the psychiatric people ( what on earth have I to get down about?! ).

Then maybe a visit to the semi friendly wheelchair cafe, for a salad.

It’ll be 2.30 pm by then, so only ten more hours to kill before I sleep.
It’s pouring with rain, so I’ll have to sit it out til the storm passes.

Then I wheel back to the hotel, and transfer onto the toilet, usually for an hour or so, where I have to do the most unspeakable ( truly ) things to myself.. that even I hesitate to write down in detail.
Then a transfer back onto the chair, 2 feet to the shower, transfer onto another seat, wash only the parts I can reach without falling onto the floor, dry as best I can, then transfer back onto the wheelchair, 10 feet to the bed, onto the bed ( having put clothes on there ), pull clothes on, transfer back into chair, 12 feet into ‘ kitchen area ‘ , one handedly get something onto my lap, from fridge, wheel to desk, put food on desk, and eat it.

No problem… All a doddle.

So sure, as you can tell, I’m having a fab holiday, here in America.

Living the Dream, me.

But keep sending the texts, only maybe with different wording….


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