Change.

I saw one of my fellow school dads the other day.
We sat and talked in my sunlit garden.

He made me think about things in a different way.
He spoke about the joy that his wife and son had had when they saw me at the school the day before.
He likened it to ‘ a returning hero’ , his words not mine. A soldier back from a battle that had almost cost him his life, but hadn’t.
A battle that he had won, but at great cost to himself.
The wounds that to him were awful, didn’t lessen him in any way in the eyes of others.
The new vulnerability in him that curiously made him more attractive, not less.

I’ve thought a lot about what he said, and it’s had a big impact.

Of course,I’m not vain enough to think that falling off a bike is in the same league as say, winning a VC…..but aside from that the emotional effects are, he convinced me, the same.

Then I saw a picture, taken the other night at a party, of a guy that looked a lot like me. It can’t have been me, because I’ve always declined to sit down at parties.
This guy was smiling and having a good time, and looked strong and healthy, not injured beyond repair. Had he been, he surely can’t have been having fun?

I saw my psychologist today, and he said that the change in my psyche since our last chat 5 weeks ago, was ‘startling’.

Things no longer seem hopeless, and seem rarely to have a dark day any more.

Perhaps not exactly a returning hero, but definitely on my way back.

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