The moment at which my composure completely broke today was at around 3.45 pm. I found myself completely unable to quell the awful sadness that broke from me. I was by myself, having wheeled somewhere quieter, thinking that I was going to vomit, when I just couldn’t stop the collapse from occurring. I haven’t had this happen to me so suddenly before, having thought those feelings of such sorrow and regret were well behind me, buried somewhere.
Thinking about it, it now occurs to me that 3.45 was perhaps almost exactly the time of the day 5 years ago when I went over the handlebars and my life went into reverse. I don’t believe in superstition but perhaps it was more than a coincidence that I broke at that time? Now, 9 hours later, although still subdued I’m far less upset than I was.
I’m truly grateful to all those that remembered to say something today.