Monthly Archives: May 2019

This appeals to my rather black sense of humour…

This is a picture of the blood covered knife that I used to ‘do myself in’ in July 2017. The thing is, I’d actually forgotten altogether that it was this particular knife, and Wendy, me or G use it most days for all kinda things, like making salad!
Glad im not one of those superstitious types that would have chucked a dead useful knife like this away… 🗡

Thank you.

I’d like to thank all the (many!!) people that have been/are such lovely friends. Some I have known for decades and some for just a few years. One, a truly unbelievably lovely person, I have only known since July 11th…

It’s hard to single people out ( and it’s not a competition! ) but I’m gonna name Marky P, Wendy and my mum and dad in particular.


Not yet…

And the Verdict was put off for another day… which ever way it goes it’s not exactly a happy ending, as there’s stuff at stake both ways. The stuff is VERY different for me to what it is for the ‘ other side ‘.

I can’t say much more than that, though I do hope the Judge can appreciate ‘ need ‘.

I think that he does to be honest.

Another thing done… almost

Well after the full Court experience these last few days, the Judge delivers his verdict tomorrow. ..

Whatever the outcome I WOULD like to thank the Court for the exceptional attitude they have shown by way of accommodating my disability and wheelchair stuff.. if everywhere was like that place my life would be far easier I think.

I’ll stop short of saying that I’d like to go there every day, but I think that’s obvious why!

Wednesday at 9am

As I wheel onto the tube train and head towards the designated wheelchair space on the carriage that Transport for London INSIST that I place myself in, 4 dressed to the nines nice middle class ladies with designer handbags and Cartier wristwatches that are sitting in the seats that flip down into the designated wheelchair area all smile at me in a ‘ awww bless him in his wheelchair ‘ kind of way, but DO NOT make any attempt to vacate their seats to let me wheel into the area., I have to point at the large blue and white sign that says they have to move ( out of the f’ing way ) for the disabled guy ( bless him for being out in the real world with the normal people ! )

Me pointing at the sign several times usually does eventually result in people moving, but not always, and sometimes there is tutting and visible irritation on their botoxed , unmoved ( in more ways than one ) faces….

Aahhhh West London society meets unaesthetic wheelchair man ( bless him for being out, but seriously, do I have to actually stand up just because HE is here?! )

And then I arrive at Court for more of the same…

May 12th.

And I’m in Court in the morning… Day 1 of the end ( hopefully ) of my rather prolonged divorce process. By the end of the week, but hopefully sooner, that chapter will have closed. It’s not exactly a fun experience, the whole divorce thing, but the Court bits I find ok actually. They don’t faze me at all. Paralysis has far more daunting aspects most days than that presented by a courtroom, and I’m quite ready for the whole thing, with my brain seeming to be processing quite rationally at the moment.

My Aunty Wendy died on Wednesday, lung cancer having stolen her away. My mum’s sister, Aunty Wendy was a lovely lady. I can’t recall a time ever that she didn’t have a smile on her face, which I would say was the measure of her. RIP Aunty Wendy x

Act now.

Just now I wrote this to my neighbours and the estate freeholders, where I live. I can’t justify inconsiderate behaviour anymore, from anyone.

Facebook was my medium of choice for my words.

Dear Brentford Lock West Residents and freeholders,

I write to put forward my view on necessary adjustments to policy and behaviour.
It is currently forbidden to hang washing outside on terraces or balconies. This is an aesthetic measure, designed to ‘ make our estate more pleasant to the eye’. Whilst I agree that aesthetics are a consideration, I believe, indeed know, that changes to what is acceptable and actually now responsible behaviour and policy cannot be delayed.
The ban on using sunlight and wind power for external drying of laundry is against all that is environmentally now obligatory for each and every one of us. We all know that the biggest single user of power in the household is the tumble dryer. Whilst it’s use is arguably justified in the wet and cold months of the year, it is not in the warmer seasons. We can all reduce our individual climate change contribution by drying laundry outside.
I propose that everyone who can, does, making attempts to limit the ‘aesthetic downside’ by hanging washing low down, hidden by balconies and railings where possible. Washing dries at night too, when it is warm, and no one will see your hung washing when it is dark.
I know that this is a measure that cannot be delayed, to work alongside recycling and sensible thermostat adjustment. No one should have their thermostat set higher than 19 degrees centigrade ( this being the recognised acceptable internal temperature ) If people are not warm enough then more clothes are necessary. I myself am paralysed in a wheelchair, with temperature regulation that is broken, yet I already observe the 19 degrees rule.
Of course we would all rather that established rules are still feasible with aesthetics and washing lines etc etc but the aesthetics of large areas of London being underwater ( and Brentford is on a floodplain) through rising tide levels will make seeing your neighbours pants flapping in the wind seem rather insignificant. We all grew up with washing lines being the norm, and none of us were too damaged by the experience.

Please can we have an agreement that lifelong climate change reducing behaviour is absolutely essential, rather than just a politically correct short term measure. It’s really now not negotiable, is it….?

Stoke Mandeville

I went to Stoke Mandeville hospital today, to the place I spent 8 months when first paralysed. Jeez, even the thought of the place gives me the shivers, such is the horrible association.

However, I went, and I had ultrasound scans to my kidneys, bladder, prostate and middle area generally, then X-rays of my spine. Then I saw Mr Belci, my consultant whilst there, who is always very friendly to me whenever I go. He talked about my body and the state of it, saying that there was nothing that was going wrong that I wasn’t aware of, and pronounced me in good health, given my circumstances.

He did talk at length though about the coming years and the expected deterioration in skin condition particularly, with a lot of advice about wheelchair technology that I needed to survive in a reasonable state. Pressure relief from wheelchairs that stand me up artificially is the technology he says is essential. I listened carefully and obviously will take his advice, wherever I can afford it.

Thank you to my lovely helper for making it possible to even get there!