Monthly Archives: May 2019


I’ve been going on a public speaking course for 6 months. There was a monthly class, which did see the number of attendees shrink from 9 to 5 at the end.

Most people were there because they felt they really needed the coach to diminish their morbid fear or inability to write a speech and then perform it in public. Personally I wasn’t there for those reasons. I enrolled as the opportunity arose and at the time I was in a dark place in my head. What I’ve done consistently these last 5/6 years is to try, to try hard to make the best of my situation, and to try to make my life one that genuinely makes me smile.

I do think that I have got there, or at the very least I am GETTING there.

There was a tragic twist. One ( pregnant for the last few lessons) lady that attended most sessions, who was there to counter her fear of speaking in front of people, had to use what she had learned to write and perform a eulogy at her husband’s funeral. They went on holiday a few weeks ago and during the night he got up to use the bathroom, but collapsed and died once inside it, not living to see his unborn child ( due shortly, God willing )

Life can be cruel, can’t it? I know that more than most I think.


Just been to see Jess Glynne in Shepherds Bush. It was a postponed WarChild benefit gig. A girl came on stage to talk about the war in her African country and the effects on the terrified children there. The West London audience kept chatting throughout her delivery… ‘ well, we’re not here for charity, we’re here for Jess Glynne ‘ … enough said I think.

Jess sang her hits, including the one where the main message is ‘ I don’t wear make up on Thursdays ‘. Wow, what an inspiration to girls she is… that one day of the week where she has such humility that she doesn’t wear make up… I’d bet that that isn’t actually factual.

Did Jess mention War Child at all in the hour or so she played? Er, no, she didn’t. She said ‘ are you all having a good time?’ quite often, and ‘ I love you guys’, but mention the reason she was there ? Nope, I think she had forgotten? But it’s ok, because she doesn’t wear make up on Thursdays

Jess can sing for sure, but she’s definitely lowbrow ( bless her ..) Last night Mr P and I went to another POS night and the first speaker talked about the fact ( FACT ) that the future of human nutrition is an insect diet. They are incredibly rich in goodness ( protein ) and dead easy to ‘ farm’ as they naturally thrive in huge numbers in a small space, and probably don’t have that much consciousness of their situation ie that they will be eaten. I’d guess that fate is inevitable as an insect.

Jess probably earns a few million a year, and really is as thick as… and the learned lecturer probably 45k a year to educate students in the future of human survival.

That’s a bit skewed I’d say. but that’s just my opinion.

Tut tut.

With still no verdict in my own case, I head to the nearest magistrates Court to be an observer again.

The Court says it’s accessible and is a one storey building that’s new’ish.

However when I get there and follow the signs to the wheelchair bit, I’m told that out of 5 courts, only one is accessible and today there is a private hearing… which I can’t see.

So that was a waste of time then! Never mind.

Monday night.

So last night then.. when I went to a Pint of Science talk with Marky P, my girlfriend Wendy ( having opened 2 doors for me to get out ) found herself locked out of my flat. She had had the foresight to carry the keys, but not the foresight to wear her knickers ( and had on only a sweatshirt that was down just below her bum cheeks ).

So there she was, somewhat reluctant to reach up high to try to release the jammed door catch ( on account of avoiding a ‘ show ‘ that might attract every male within a mile ).

Eventually a tall fella turned up and tried ( telling her that ‘ next time you ought to wear some shoes ‘ – ha, if only he knew! ) to release the catch. That didn’t work so Wendy considered climbing over railings of 3 adjacent gardens ( weh hey another show ! ) but eventually someone let her in a side door…

That excitement aside, Marky P and I came second in the Pint of Science quiz ( knowledge of Thames Bridges tipping the balance our way I think – at last my kayaking history has been useful for something ).

The talk was about plastic pollution in the Thames, and the contamination of water by humans with antibiotics. In some countries the concentration of antibiotics in rivers is HIGHER THAN THE DOSE YOU NEED IN YOUR BLOODSTREAM TO CURE YOUR INFECTION!

Jesus, what a mess we are making of the World 🌎

This appeals to my rather black sense of humour…

This is a picture of the blood covered knife that I used to ‘do myself in’ in July 2017. The thing is, I’d actually forgotten altogether that it was this particular knife, and Wendy, me or G use it most days for all kinda things, like making salad!
Glad im not one of those superstitious types that would have chucked a dead useful knife like this away… 🗡

Thank you.

I’d like to thank all the (many!!) people that have been/are such lovely friends. Some I have known for decades and some for just a few years. One, a truly unbelievably lovely person, I have only known since July 11th…

It’s hard to single people out ( and it’s not a competition! ) but I’m gonna name Marky P, Wendy and my mum and dad in particular.


Not yet…

And the Verdict was put off for another day… which ever way it goes it’s not exactly a happy ending, as there’s stuff at stake both ways. The stuff is VERY different for me to what it is for the ‘ other side ‘.

I can’t say much more than that, though I do hope the Judge can appreciate ‘ need ‘.

I think that he does to be honest.