Monthly Archives: April 2019

I was contacted online, via the dating app, by a lady that lives a few miles away, who ( by any measure ) then made a real play for my attention and affections. I went along with the conversation, and to be fair can be quite amusing by text, seeming to find it very easy to engage female attention. Then she proposed we talk on the phone, and we did, for 90 minutes of laughter. She then suggested we meet up the following evening, which I agreed to.

In my dating profile I didn’t mention my injury, nor do the pictures feature my wheelchair. I don’t however show me standing up, or have any pre injury pictures on show, nor do I make out that I’m ‘ able’.

The wheelchair isn’t exactly a selling point, let’s face it, and it’s only going to invite sympathy, or questions entirely to do with why I am in one. I’d rather engage with someone without that topic being aired, and then if she ‘ has the right qualities ‘ then I’d obviously tell her before we meet. At that point, I’m actually prepared for any nature of response, from total indifference to disability all the way to an angry accusation that I have lied through ‘misrepresentation of myself ‘.

This particular lady seemed to be very, very interested in me, and I thought she would be good fun and also ‘ understanding ‘. I phoned her 5 hours before our meeting time and told her the score, speaking candidly and openly, but retaining a lot of positivity too. No one wants to date a miserable git after all.

I could tell when she said ‘ right, that’s a lot to take in and think about, and I haven’t got much time to have my lunch as it is today ‘ that my news hadn’t been well received, and she said she’d see me later. It was no surprise though to receive her message –

Thanks for your messages and for letting me know the situation and I am so, so sorry about what happened to you.. That must have been an extremely difficult & challenging time and the fact that you’re still so positive in your outlook on life, is admirable.. Honestly – life sucks sometimes and bad things happen to good people..
Having thought about it though, I’m so sorry but I think we are going to have to leave meeting up.. I hope that doesn’t sound shallow but I know myself and I just don’t think there’s much point.. However, I sincerely wish you all the very best for the future and with meeting someone special. N******

I replied and said I totally understood her mindset, and wished her luck. There really isn’t any point in me being upset about this stuff, as it’s fruitless. She had mentioned that she was half German, and I did say that Hitler would have had people like me gassed, so perhaps it’s just her natural prejudice. I did then say that I was of course joking ( but I think I got the message across …)

We said goodbye and it was amicable for sure.

6 hours later I got a text from her saying that she was really missing my texts and jokes, and could we still be in touch as friends…

I replied yes of course, obviously.

But to myself I added ‘ You can go fuck yourself, N****** ‘

Life goes on! I went out with my brilliant buddy Chris H last night – top man is he, and too many drinks were drunk down by the river.

Massive gratitude to my exceptional mates Rob C and Marky P for their time and company and erection ability.

No, I’m talking about the building of a shed and putting up shelves to make my life easier. My stuff is now not all over my terrace, and I can reach all sorts of essential things whilst in bed, with my new shelf, without asking someone to get them for me. The more things I can do for myself, the better I feel about disability is the way it works. Making my own environment bespoke to me is absolutely the way forward, and I seem to be getting there for sure, with the help of my friends.

Thanks too to Toby for his help, and to my ( very attractive ) gardener that helped me loads yesterday. She can definitely come again…

This weekend is obviously Easter ( no, not seen my children, but I wish them well in whatever they are doing of course ) and it’s also Devizes to Westminster canoe race.. which has just been won by a mixed crew again ( second time in history ) I wish it had been hot and sunny weather when I did it! It was usually sub zero at night, and not loads warmer in the day… that’ll be Climate change then.

Yes, I do support the Climate change protesters. We have known for 30 years that the End is Nigh unless we change our ways, yet virtually nothing has been altered. It’s almost certainly too late now, and God help future generations who will be the ones to suffer the effects of what we now are doing. I’m glad I won’t be around to see the nature’s retribution.

On that depressing note, Happy Easter!

( and Happy Birthday to my big bruvver for Tuesday too x )

Court.

I went to divorce court today…. usual harmony!

It’s amazing how it gets … you just can’t possibly imagine why on earth you ever married her!

I’m sure she misses me loads though.

Lil beggars.

I’m not known for being a horticulturist ( more of a naughty culturist ) but I’ve been planting lots of things. Only things in planters that are higher than knee height of course, as I can’t bend down.

Anyway I’ve found that something is bloody digging the plants up all the time! Squirrels? Cats? Possibly aliens…

I’m going to go to get some 🐥 wire tomorrow after the Court thing, to keep the plants safe from chickens, and hopefully the other things too.

Vibrator use.

I’m spending my single time doing such things as getting my feet ( not easy ) onto a vibrating plate machine that I bought, as I think it’s gotta be good for my circulation and spasms. I’ve no evidence as yet that it does me any good at all, but it looks like it ought to… somehow?

Power plates in health clubs used to cost thousands but I see that prices have come down a lot – this one was 70 notes.

Wish I could actually use it for exercise, but I cannot..

Rhod ( the sod ) – as we would call him in Wales

I went to see Rhod Gilbert last night with Roy and Caroline, and my helper. He is very funny for sure, his Welshness adding to his comedy in a big way.

He’s not from the same part as me, but the humour is similar to that which I grew up with. Lots of piss take is at the core of it ( though without cruelty or any malice ).

I think that’s what the English don’t get about the Welsh sense of humour – we say some really really terrible things but don’t mean them in the slightest. It’s all just for a laugh. We can do it to each other all day long and no one is in the slightest bit offended, but it doesn’t travel beyond Wales that well, and you get yourself in trouble, particularly now the world has gone politically correctly mad. Welsh people won’t be able to say anything at all that is funny to them before too long, I can see it coming.

Rhod 10/10.

Drinks prices at the Hammersmith Apollo- scandalously 1/10.

And again…

I got another ‘smile’ on the dating site. It was from someone called Dawn.

I wrote ‘ you must get up early to have a name like that …!’

She didn’t get it, she said…

Seriously? Is my humour really that ‘oblique ‘ ??

Good grief. This is hard work.

Endeavouring to ‘ get straight back on the horse’ as it were… I signed up to a different dating site, one for ‘ 30+ singles with ambition ‘ whatever that means.

Anyway I got a ‘ smile’ after a bit from a lady called Nora.

I stuck my proverbial toe in her water by messaging ‘ Hi, was ‘Ig’ your nickname at school ? 🙂 ‘ Then I said ‘ sorry, that joke was silly’ … by way of being honest about my childishness.

Now that’s admittedly not hilariously funny.. but it is humour and it’s fairly straightforward to get ( isn’t it?)

Anyway she replied with a ‘?’

I said again ‘ that was a silly joke’.

She replied with ‘ what is Ig? ‘

Mmmm. I think maybe Nora isn’t for me. Or perhaps I shouldn’t be quite so razor witted going forward, unless she starts it first?

All advice welcome!

Life still not predictable then…

As Toby said today – your blog wouldn’t be worth reading if everything started going well for you – mmmmm well yes, I suppose that’s true!

Next up is divorce court stuff on Monday. It’s all fun, fun and more fun for me then. Wendy and I were booked to go away for 5 days on Tuesday, but now that’s cancelled… blimey I’ll have to eat Easter eggs that are dairy free all weekend. Do they even make those ones?

I’m not sinking though. The cracks had started a while ago, so im not exactly shocked it’s ended. But I do wish her all the very best of luck.

Thank you to the peeps that have asked after my head state. It’s fine… but I appreciate the concern. X

Tomorrow I go to see that comedian- Welsh Rhod Gilbert. I wonder if I’ll find he over eggs the welsh and stupid jokes? We shall see.

Being Welsh is cool now ( don’t you know ? ) I’ll wear something red and have a leak whilst there, so he knows he’s amongst friends.