Monthly Archives: August 2018

Last day.

What do you do with a good lookin young french lad who’s just about legal, on his last day in London ?

You take him up Thé Shard, of course…;)

Thats what we did yesterday – tubes and Triride to get there – was a bit packed but incredible as always.

There was a VIP bit  ( God, how affected are some people ) where you could pay extra and stand in the Moët and Chandon bit, behind a rope … great! Except isnt thé whole point of going,  to walk around and around so that you see London from every angle.

They had special Moët cushions and everything.

Somehow one ended up on my lap and then somehow made its way back to my flat ?!

Blimey, I’ll be sure to repatriate it asap…. !

i thought I’d experiment -Ach went back by Tube and bicycle, and I went by wheelchair and Triride through the rush hour traffic ( 11 miles )

Guess who was back first, 30 Minutes before the other?

Eveyone should have a wheelchair and no sense of danger -,.its the way forward, isn’t it?

Today Wendy and I get the Eurostar to gay Paris, and i booked to take a bicycle for her – We’ll see so much more on wheels than without them, je crois,

Itll be lovely to wake  up on my birthday with a beautiful girl in Paris – that’s a first.



As I knew all along- cos you just do, if you’re as aware as I am, physically, even though I cannot feel 2/3 of me… I need more Spinal surgery.

Ill be in for 6 weeks or so, he said.

Hospital is fine, and 6 weeks is nothing, when there is a positive outcome ahead, is the only thought process that I allow.

Its the Autumn soon, and I’ll be out way before Xmas to do what I plan to do for that period, so no worries…

I really don’t like being leant to one side all over again, so bring on the major surgery, I say.

I mean, what s the worse that can happen…!?

I don’t want to wake up even more paralysed, but anything else, living or otherwise, is totally fine.



Thanks to Russ S for the invite to The Twickenham Jam last night- bloody brilliant – definitely going again!

Great atmosphere, lots of talent, everyone happy.

Ach got served legally at the bar for his first time ( proudly witnessed by temporary Dad ), he got asked by a pissed woman if he was my son, who then said ( after he said non ) that he must be, and we should go on Jeremy Kyle…

Righto then.

Shortly after that, she  told me I was very good looking and asked if I was single, by any Chance, ‘ cos she would..’

I made my excuses and left shortly after, with Birthday Boy riding a bicycle slightly pissed ( not my kid, so don’t blame me! – it was his 18th after all – fast backwards 33 years and I was puking face down on a pavement in Newport, wearing a toga )

Beng sensible is all relative, innit?

Really appreciate Toby and Russ and the woman off Jeremy Kyle talent spotting for making Achille’s night, and for Wendy for making his cake!

Tonight we are at Somerset House outside watching Being John Malkovich. Seen it ages ago and it was brilliant ( though I’ve no recollection at all of the storyline ).

I swear my memory now is far better than it was 20 years ago!?

Standard weekend…

So … another hedonistic night surrounded by the skimpily clad in South London.

Gotta love a fetish wear party ! Lots of people having a very good time, no trouble, no pissed people ( well, we were a bit ) the iBot working thanks to Lester, a very late bus home at 5am and not long in sleep before my Hong Kong homeboy rocked up at midday, and Wendy helped me lovingly into my clothes and wheelchair.

Perkins was on usual sparkling form, and its Achille’s 18th! Since he’s learned all kinda DIY stuff this last week, I thought it fitting to buy him a real man’s coming of age present- no not a blow up woman, but a cordless hand drill! You can’t shag it, but it’ll never puncture and you’ll never have to rinse it either.

Of course I also got him other more sentimental stuff ( an iPhone charger and cable  ) and Wendy got him a cake and card… what a lucky ( ish ) boy.

He insisted on wearing tinsel on his head – is that a Belgian thing?

Tonight im overcoming the sleep deprivation once more and him and I are going to see a few bands in Twickenham.

Tomorrow I’ve booked us tickets to something else, so his birthday weekend will run over..

This week.

Achille has moved easily into the No 1 under 18 year old in my life! Easy going, a laugh, fit and incredibly helpful to me, I am definitely wishing he wasn’t going back to Belgium next week.

As it happens I’m going to Paris at the same time so I’ll see him on my birthday too, along with his parents and my girlfriend. Nope, we aren’t all in the same room or anything…

I said to Pierre, his Dad, that he is such a brilliant kid that perhaps he’s actually MY son.

With typical Belgian-Welsh axis humour, he said  – well I was actually thinking about you when I was ‘ making ‘ him… Ha! Well that explains it then…

So helpful this week, I now actually have a table that flips up from against the wall – definitely good for Wheelchair accessibility when flipped out of the way – I now have blinds in all bedrooms ( Moby measured and installed ) another outside socket ( Vitaly ), a proper mirror up, Alexa operated lights, Wheelchairs in a parking basement area, Ikea storage units inside, wooden storage units outside, outside lights on walls ( though not wired in yet, all my pictures on the walls now, and all my stuff out of moving in boxes and into places that I can access. Progress!

Wednesday was an interesting day – I was invited into a local police station to give my perspective on something. Three hours in the cop shop was very amusing, actually. No stranger to the darker side of life, I’m not fazed by things like that at all. Rather I’m fascinated by it. Middle class’ness tends towards the dull, rather than the dangerous, and anyone that knows me well will know which way I lean by choice.

Accosted by a older Asian lady, there, within 5 Minutes, she assumed that I too was there because I’d lost my dog? Eventually having to ask her to sshhhhh , I then talked to an Irishman who was there to get his kids out. ‘ They’re only 13 and 15 and are good boys – never been in trouble before ( read – never actually been caught red handed before ).  He was very interested in the value of my wheelchair ( read I’ll nick that if you get out of it to go for a pee )

My legal aid Solicitor was most impressed by my steering backwards through narrow doorways, using 2 small Mirrors – get me – you get better at this stuff when you have no other options – and old buildings don’t have accessible corridors and doorways. A laugh, especially for a solicitor (!) she was an international triathlete, and we got on ever so well. The matter I was there for was dealt with easily, and I left to Tri back with my adopted son to see the lovely Cherie, on 2 crutches, moving slowly ( but moving nonetheless – good girl! )

Then I sped through London to Kensington Palace, to the outside Luna cinema screening of Victoria and Abdul, with Pia. What a beautiful film and story – so thought provoking and a must see, I’d say. As always we had a great time, and home by midnight ( ish ) via the night bus that stops right outside my door ( almost ) now. If Pia only had a Triride we could race home …. just a thought.

Today has been blimmin full on already, and about to go to an all night party in Vauxhall, by train and iBot, so gotta go!

Write up to follow.

Its my new son’s 18th tomorrow so I’ll save a bit of myself for his party that I’ve arranged tomorrow- well he’s a great lad and is a long way from home, so I’ve done my best at short notice…



Bon week-end.

This weekend I’ve had a lovely 17 year old and a clever 14 year old staying with me.

Nope, not related to me, but hey.

Achille is from Belgium ( my ski buddy’s son ) and Ethan from Oxford ( Wendy’s son )

The ever so switched on Belgian is here for 2 weeks and he’s gonna give me a hand with stuff, while I talk to him in English and his improves.. since I’m a bit of a pedant for words and grammar ( innit ) I’m good as a teacher, even though i say it myself. He’s a very fit lad, so I thought we’d shoot off and see the locality by Triride and vélo ( that’s a french synonym for bicyclette – which is also french for bicycle )

Anyway, we went about 15miles and saw the Palace at Hampton Court, rode the roads and along the Thames path,  and drank a little vin blanc. Then we cooked on the pierrade at mine, and had a laugh. Yes, I get to practice my French, aussi.

Blimey I’m more Frenchy than the Frogs are.

Ethan educated me on numerous aviation facts, that being his thing, and I’m well up for learning anything, so that was cool, and different.

As im in the middle of 3 flight paths  ( that do all miss me ) it’s a plane spotters heaven, so that works for Ethan.

Wendy’s other son is a little on the bright side. After getting 5A*s at A level at 14, he’s just finished his first year in Oxford University and got a distinction in Maths ( at 16 )

It does put the whole ‘ talented/ clever ‘ thing in perspective, I feel. Lots of the ( posh ) schools around here push the kids to apply for Oxford and Cambridge, and a low number of those get in. There is an awful lot of kudos for the school by a child being accepted, or even applying . The schools boast about these figures in their prospectuses. Personally how do I feel about that? Well I applied for Oxford from a school in Wales, without any coaching or ‘ preparation ‘   I didn’t get in. Had I been ‘ schooled and prepared ‘ by tutors or a private school, then possibly I could have. Would I have flourished in Oxford? Almost certainly not, as I am sure I wouldn’t have been dedicated enough, or smart enough to even pass exams, let alone do well.

The 16 year old I just mentioned doesn’t even take notes in his lectures, he just listens and at the same time does his homework, so he is free in the evenings to play his Electric guitar and go to his martial arts classes ( he’s a karate black belt, and does other arts ) Now that’s talented- and to my mind the sort of brain that ought be there ( albeit he’s probably at the upper end of the scale, even there ).

If you meet him then, and he thrashes you at Connect 4, don’t get narky and give him a shove or anything, cos you may end up being put in your place (twice ) by a 16 year old!

Wendy was such a superstar at the weekend, and we did loads.

I now have a new Electric bed that enables me to sit up and change the position of my legs ( brilliant ) have lots of storage solutions in progress, an amazingly clean home, and far less jobs to do left on my extremely long jobs to do list.

When Moby came round a couple of weeks ago, one of em said ‘ Christ, it’s like Steptoe and Son’s yard here ‘ ..

Hilarious…. and yes, I laughed. His feeling was that the only remedy was to throw stuff away. I thought ‘ no, the remedy is to use my available space well, and the place will absorb everything I want to keep ‘

Anyway, I’m right, not him.

I won’t mention which end of the Pantomime Horse said the words – the brains end, or the arse end, as it doesn’t matter.

And no, I shall not be smug when I see his look of surprise when he’s next here.


Meeting up.

I’m aware that there’s a situation in my life that could do with a bit of amendment.

I suppose you could call it my status?

When people come by to have a drink/ coffee/ cuppa, I’m aware that they can ‘ classify ‘ the experience as having ‘ visited ‘ me, rather than called in to have the aforementioned liquid refreshment with a friend.

Is this how it’s always gonna be, I wonder? If they drop in to see other people, do they class that as ‘ visiting ‘, or as something else?

When I was in hospital, for sure i had an awful lot of amazing people ‘ visit ‘ me, but years later, and in my own home, where I provide razor sharp wit and my slightly unorthodox take on the world, are people still ‘ visiting ‘ me?

What if i meet them away from my property? In a cafe, at the river, or at a gig venue? Are they still ‘ visiting ‘?  I think that some do think that way, actually, even though I might meet em there, and provide the tickets…?

Anyway, I’m far from ungrateful for my lovely mates, whether they visit, or meet up with a friend ( me ) but it isn’t a one way relationship anymore, as my situation has changed so much.

When Wendy comes, she comes to spend her time with her boyfriend, have a laugh, smile an awful lot, and get her rocks off.

But that’s only her, admittedly…

The week that was.

Great to see, in no particular order, my new neighbours, Pia, Catherine that I worked with, Marky P, my Mum and Dad, Lar, Vitaly and Victoria, Wendy obviously, Pia, my dermatologist for yet another biopsy ( face this time ) and  Jessica and Raquel.

Good to work out my girlfriend’s contact lens prescription ( seems like an age since I’ve done much optical ) and give a little reassuring advice to a friend on disturbing visual migraines. Can’t say I miss work much any more- that seems like a lifetime ago.

Got a new Triride tyre – mine was f’d after only 5000 Miles ??! Thanks to the guys in the London Bicycle Workshop for fitting it for me. I now have grip up slopes!

Went for my first ever drink of alcohol by myself the other night – on the river whilst out exploring my new vicinity. I don’t think one glass of wine on your own makes me a Billy no Mates? I did chat to Chris M on the phone whilst there, and the people sat next to me, so not exactly the start of a slippery slope!

Feel a little tired today after a few drinks with my neighbours Plus Wendy, and hardly any sleep afterwards… well that s thé trouble with new relationships, you don’t actually get that much sleep, do you. Never mind. I don’t care at all about sleep – I’ll always get what I need once I’m tired enough, and just crash.

B&Q is my new favourite place- soooo many useful things for a new home, that can be used strategically to make life easier.

At last I seem to have a competent Carer, though of course I can never really tell until a few days have passed. Wendy has been giving me a help with stuff, which has lightened the Carer’s already light load, but hey.

Ive had to struggle to get the entrance door to my building to be adapted so that I can actually get it – a fairly essential thing, right?

When you report this stuff, the most striking thing is how slowly things happen. Look, I can’t actually get in FFS, so it’s not something that you can leave for a week and eventually get around to it. It’s bloody urgent, as guess what? Yes, getting in and out is a  blimmin basic requirement!

I use the ‘ reasonable adjustments ‘ clause quite a lot, to hurry them up, and do a lot of looking the person in the eye and speaking firmly… giving them absolutely NO doubt as to what it is that is required.

That seems to work fairly well…


Outside cinema this week in Kensington Palace, a band in Barnes, and mates to see, as well as cracking on with various home improvements to make life easier and more ordered.

Whilst I’m not OCD… i do have strong opinions on how my own property is ordered… and I think that’s my right.