Thanks to Jamie for taking me out to the Garage Bar, in Noulou ( New Louisville) last night.

Suddenly Louisville seems to have woken up, as if from a long sleep.
Having gotten used to London, which is busy all year round, I forget that some places have ‘social seasons’ where there’s a Spring that sort of kicks off the population to leave their homes.

I’m not complaining- it’s been quiet here for way too long!

I almost wrote a post 3 days ago saying that the idea of Vegas was a bad one… Well not the idea of Vegas itself , but the idea of me going to Vegas.

On the 3rd day I woke up and suddenly/ miraculously even, it was a positive experience, me being there.

I can’t explain the why question, why things that seem so completely bad transform into something that’s ok.
I’m told happiness is just a chemical reaction.
As I don’t take ‘happy pills’ of any sort ( yet ) then the reaction is self generated, but not deliberate.
I can go to sleep sometimes beyond miserable, yet wake up quite bouyant.
How does that happen?

So Rob looked after me totally and completely ( role reversal from our Yukon canoe adventure..)

Lateral thinking, fit and with a great sense of direction, we went all over the place, him pushing me through the crowded streets.

You generally can’t cross the road in Vegas, so after catching about 50 lifts, we took on escalators, to the shock of onlookers.
Going down backwards is the hardest bit, and requires a lot of faith in the bloke behind.
As I have total faith in Rob, it works.

So we lost at Roulette, saw a great show- David Copperfield ( thanks Mike Jenkins for recommendation ), met up with Monique and her very cool Mum, stayed up late a fair bit, and saw the city after dark.
It definitely doesn’t ever sleep, but is full of people having a good time, without any hint of trouble.
Ok so none of those people are looking where they are going, so all seem to be walking into me, but not intentionally…

Rob had his first Starbucks , and was fascinated by an iPhone…. Actually holding one ( mine ) in his hand, and even touching the screen a few times.

I think he’s possibly the only person ever, to erect a tent in a room in Caesar’s Palace…. To ‘dry it out’.. But there you go.
God knows what the cleaners thought was going on in our room, but hey.

He did stop short of cooking his own breakfast with his gas stove.

I know I’ve broken the rule about what happened in Vegas stays in Vegas, so I’ll keep the rest a secret.

Monique looking fresh after her 100 mile ( and 10,600ft of uphill ) in the desert , the day before.

Respect.

Though the lazy cow wouldn’t even give my chair a push through the casino….

Though not very good at it!

We’re at the all day buffet at the MGM Grand.

It’s straight out of Little Britain sometimes, my life.

I want that one.

Rob: are you sure?

I want that one.

Rob: you’ve already had some of that.

Yeah, I know. I want some more.

Rob: OK, if you’re sure , Russ.

Changed my mind.

I take it all back.

Rob was actually there, as I got off the plane.

He must’ve got the post card.

So I’m on a Southwest Airlines flight, maybe half way to Vegas.
In a window seat.

I calculate that it’s about time I catheterise.

Next to me, on my left is a boy of about 11.
Next to him is his brother, maybe 7.

I consider my options.
Wait til the boy next to me goes to the loo?
Talk to him, and explain the situation?
Try to do it without him noticing ( given it involves unzipping, removal, a 2 foot catheter, a disinfectant wipe and a disposal bag.

Knowing just how unobservant children of that age can be, I opt for the latter.
I position my ‘satchel’ between him and me, and go through the process, complicated by me dropping 2 of the 3 articles at the start , and having to reach them from the floor, by tipping forward so my head is against the back of the seat in front ( having no lower back muscles to pull me back upright ).

I manage the 5 minute process successfully, but throughout fear the worst – that the poor kid glances to his right, and Is scarred for life.

He doesn’t know that I’m paralysed, as I’ve been carried on before he and his brother boarded. They are travelling unaccompanied.. Making the whole scenario potentially far worse.
I can see the headlines now.

And the lifelong counselling for my neighbour in seat 3B.

Not to mention the lawsuit against Southwest by his parents.

I’m more than relieved when it’s over, and immediately ask the lovely Emily ( who looks just like a girlfriend I once had ) for another glass of wine, which she doesn’t charge me for ( wow, the benefits of being paralysed and knowing how to look doe- y eyed ).

So now my legs have stopped twitching as much, and I can concentrate a bit better on my book ( yes, my second.. Having finished the story of Earnest Shackleton’s incredible voyage from certain doom to ultimate survival… Bought for me by the fantastic Mark Pritchard of Chiswick… The parallel being no matter how bleak it looks, don’t give up. … Everyone should read that book….and now onto the Muhammed Ali autobiography ‘ his life and times’ … Pertinent, as he’s Louisville’s most famous son – even more famous than Tom Cruise or Jennifer Lawrence… Can I have this much stuff in brackets? ) and relax a bit, which is frankly a relief, not wanting the complication of pissing myself on the flight.

90 minutes to Vegas still.
I’m feeling reasonably positive about the trip, now that my worst fears have been allayed, and I’ve gotten this far without mishap.

Ally, at the Residence Inn, thank you so much for the lift to the airport, and for humouring my somewhat stressed self for about an hour.. And despite being smaller than my 11 year old daughter, carrying my suitcase, shower bench and carry on bag filled with 35 catheters, to the check in.

I so owe you a drink.. Or 10.

I think you now read this blog, so you are famous amongst a very small circle of people that you’ll never meet.
But if you ever come to London, we’ve got a spare bedroom.

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