Not the best sleep ever, but saw my kids going to school for the first time in 7 months.
As many of you will know, my best man, Russell Dawkins, was terribly injured in a bicycle accident six months ago. The injuries he received falling off his bike have resulted in him being paralysed from the waist down. In an effort to raise money to purchase sports equipment both for him and other paraplegics, we have started a new Charity – RUSSELL DAWKINS BACK ON TRACK. Our first event, the Spine-a-thon, was held at the Hogarth Club in November and raised £16k, a mighty effort. We are still some way from our target for the first year of £40k, which will equip Russ with enough biking, skiing, canoeing and specialised training kit to allow him to continue practising the same sports as before, albeit sitting on his arse. In fact, I’ve just realised that most sports Russ did involve him sitting on his arse, but I think you know what I mean? After that sum is reached Russ intends using the kit to raise funds for other paraplegics, so look out for that.
Over six weeks before Christmas I ran three ultra-marathons in order to qualify for possibly the toughest Mountain Marathon in the world – the non-stop 105 mile race around Mt Blanc, which goes over ten mountain passes with a total height gain of 10,000 metres. But that’s in August, so enough about that for now. I will hassle you for some sponsorship in due course. Right now, along with Lee and Ali from the Park Club, I have recruited 17 other lunatics to FIGHT FOR RUSS. For those of you who’ve never heard of White Collar Boxing, this entails 12 weeks of intensive boxing training to take all of us, from novice to having an ABA sanctioned bout on the evening of Saturday March 22nd2014 in the Dome at the Park Club. Amongst the bouts are a number of female bouts and a pair of identical twins. I should point out that the identical twins are NOT women, sorry about that.
THE HUNDRED YEAR’S WAR – I’ve worked out that by the time of the bout, my opponent, Paul McGregor and I will have amassed over a 100 years on the planet. Normally geriatrics like us are more concerned with imminent hip replacements than imminent punch-ups, but we are obviously men in crises. It’s either this or (another) expensive divorce and a motor-bike. It’s been revealed to me that Paul is an experienced kick boxer, but apparently, technically, he’s a boxing novice so fully qualified and, frankly, expected to fill my head in. So, if you want to help raise some funds for the Charity with the added bonus of seeing me fight (in a boxing ring, this time, not outside a pub) all you have to do is buy a ticket. They are a mere £25 or £250 for ten, which comes with a table to park yourself at. There will be a bar on the night and Street Food provided by the award-winning Richard Johnson, which is not included in the ticket. The whole event is run no differently to a professional boxing show, except for the standard of the fighters! I can guarantee a great laugh, great food, copious amounts of alcohol and the warm feeling of knowing you’ve helped out a great Charity, without actually getting filled in yourself.
Have a look at the attached poster and let me know how many tickets you want? Reply to me by email and include your address, so I can send you tickets and an invoice, which you can settle at your leisure.
If you want to have a look at what Russ has been going through or you’re in need of a bit of inspiration, have a look at his blog on:http://melissaleach.blogspot.co.uk
Dan “the Guvnor” White
February the 14th.
Today a lot of fun had.
Well to add to my woes it would seem I DO have a UTI – an infection.
A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one night, he’s doing a show in
a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through
his usual dumb blonde jokes.
Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts
shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you
think you can stereotype Swedish blond women that way? What does the color
of a woman’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s men like
you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the
community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like
you that make others think that all Blondes are dumb! You and your kind
continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in
general…pathetically all in the name of humor!”
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells:
“You stay out of this! I’m talking to that little shit on your lap.”
Despite not drinking any fluid after 6pm last night, and ‘producing’ 2 litres of wee,, I managed to wet my bed twice in the night.