I was contacted online, via the dating app, by a lady that lives a few miles away, who ( by any measure ) then made a real play for my attention and affections. I went along with the conversation, and to be fair can be quite amusing by text, seeming to find it very easy to engage female attention. Then she proposed we talk on the phone, and we did, for 90 minutes of laughter. She then suggested we meet up the following evening, which I agreed to.
In my dating profile I didn’t mention my injury, nor do the pictures feature my wheelchair. I don’t however show me standing up, or have any pre injury pictures on show, nor do I make out that I’m ‘ able’.
The wheelchair isn’t exactly a selling point, let’s face it, and it’s only going to invite sympathy, or questions entirely to do with why I am in one. I’d rather engage with someone without that topic being aired, and then if she ‘ has the right qualities ‘ then I’d obviously tell her before we meet. At that point, I’m actually prepared for any nature of response, from total indifference to disability all the way to an angry accusation that I have lied through ‘misrepresentation of myself ‘.
This particular lady seemed to be very, very interested in me, and I thought she would be good fun and also ‘ understanding ‘. I phoned her 5 hours before our meeting time and told her the score, speaking candidly and openly, but retaining a lot of positivity too. No one wants to date a miserable git after all.
I could tell when she said ‘ right, that’s a lot to take in and think about, and I haven’t got much time to have my lunch as it is today ‘ that my news hadn’t been well received, and she said she’d see me later. It was no surprise though to receive her message –
Thanks for your messages and for letting me know the situation and I am so, so sorry about what happened to you.. That must have been an extremely difficult & challenging time and the fact that you’re still so positive in your outlook on life, is admirable.. Honestly – life sucks sometimes and bad things happen to good people..
Having thought about it though, I’m so sorry but I think we are going to have to leave meeting up.. I hope that doesn’t sound shallow but I know myself and I just don’t think there’s much point.. However, I sincerely wish you all the very best for the future and with meeting someone special. N******
I replied and said I totally understood her mindset, and wished her luck. There really isn’t any point in me being upset about this stuff, as it’s fruitless. She had mentioned that she was half German, and I did say that Hitler would have had people like me gassed, so perhaps it’s just her natural prejudice. I did then say that I was of course joking ( but I think I got the message across …)
We said goodbye and it was amicable for sure.
6 hours later I got a text from her saying that she was really missing my texts and jokes, and could we still be in touch as friends…
I replied yes of course, obviously.
But to myself I added ‘ You can go fuck yourself, N****** ‘
Life goes on! I went out with my brilliant buddy Chris H last night – top man is he, and too many drinks were drunk down by the river.
Massive gratitude to my exceptional mates Rob C and Marky P for their time and company and erection ability.
No, I’m talking about the building of a shed and putting up shelves to make my life easier. My stuff is now not all over my terrace, and I can reach all sorts of essential things whilst in bed, with my new shelf, without asking someone to get them for me. The more things I can do for myself, the better I feel about disability is the way it works. Making my own environment bespoke to me is absolutely the way forward, and I seem to be getting there for sure, with the help of my friends.
Thanks too to Toby for his help, and to my ( very attractive ) gardener that helped me loads yesterday. She can definitely come again…
This weekend is obviously Easter ( no, not seen my children, but I wish them well in whatever they are doing of course ) and it’s also Devizes to Westminster canoe race.. which has just been won by a mixed crew again ( second time in history ) I wish it had been hot and sunny weather when I did it! It was usually sub zero at night, and not loads warmer in the day… that’ll be Climate change then.
Yes, I do support the Climate change protesters. We have known for 30 years that the End is Nigh unless we change our ways, yet virtually nothing has been altered. It’s almost certainly too late now, and God help future generations who will be the ones to suffer the effects of what we now are doing. I’m glad I won’t be around to see the nature’s retribution.
On that depressing note, Happy Easter!
( and Happy Birthday to my big bruvver for Tuesday too x )