So… Pia and i go to a gig. It’s an extremely cold night ( its one of the coldest nights in recent UK history ). I have 3 layers on – my gig t shirt, my loose fleece, and ( the one that actually keeps me warm ) the Icebreaker merino wool ‘ no stink however many times you wear it’ thermal black sweater – this garment is basically the single most important item that I ever wear. I’ve had it since just before my injury and used it in lots of ‘ extreme weather environments’ pre and post injury. It’s my default cold weather wear – GUARANTEED TO KEEP ME WARM – and when it’s cold, I literally don’t ever leave the flat without it.
Anyway.. after half an hour at the venue, with the thermal radiation of thousands of others, I feel warm enough to take it off and put it over the rail in front of me. There it rests until Erasure have done their last song, and we leave, just ahead of the throng.
As Pia is going elsewhere we briefly say our goodbyes and head in different directions, me towards Chiswick in the iBot, and her in search of a tube/ Uber.
I concentrate on getting back, and my default setting of ‘ look after No 1 ‘ kicks in. I don’t spare the time I have to think how cold I am, and don’t think about my sweater until the next evening when I’m going out in the cold again. Myself and my carer are both looking for it, but can’t find it anywhere? I call Pia and I mention that I think I’ve somehow lost it.
She says ‘ the black one ?’
I said ‘ Yes, I think I left it in the venue, or dropped it ?’
She said ‘ no, I was carrying it for you ‘
Relieved, I said ‘ brilliant, when will I see you to get it back? I use it all the time’.
Pia ‘ er, i dont have it ‘
Me ‘ you just said you did?’
Pia ‘ well I did have it, but I don’t anymore ‘
Me ‘ what, you lost it somewhere ?’
Pia ‘ no, not exactly ‘
Me ‘ what do you mean, not exactly ?’
Pia ‘ well I gave it to someone ‘
Me ‘ well can you get it back please ‘
Pia ‘ no, i dont think so ‘
Me ‘why not??’
Pia ‘ i gave it to a tramp’
Me ‘ what? Can you stop messing around ?’
Pia ‘ no…. i saw a tramp… and he looked really cold, so I gave him your jumper ‘
Me ‘ ha ha, that’s Hilarious…
Pia – silence .
Me ‘ Pia? Pia? Pia…?!’
( Written with a resigned smile, obviously )