Oh, if only.

Oh to have a Carer that can remember every day that pushing my bathroom tap to the left means that hot water comes out,  and that pushing it to the right means that cold water comes out.

Oh to have a Carer that can remember to lock my front door every time she leaves the flat.

Oh to have a Carer that can ask who is there before buzzing someone into the flat.

Oh to have a Carer that can remember to water the plants, which is just turning a dial once a day

Oh to have a Carer that can remember to push the lift call button for me, when we get to a lift, the button that I can’t reach.

Oh to have a Carer that knows where the front of my chair is, so that when I ask her to walk IN FRONT of me through crowds of people, to help me, she doesn’t immediately end up BEHIND ME, where I can’t even see her.

Oh to have a Carer that remembers, after 6 weeks of helping me with it 4 times a day, how to do up and undo the 4 bolts that attach my Triride attachment to my wheelchair.

Oh to have a Carer that can push a plug into a hole in the side of my iBot, and push a plug into the hole in the wall, commonly known as an electricity socket, and press the button, commonly known as the switch, which turns the power on, commonly known as electricity. And then REMEMBER what she did, so that the next time I ask  I don’t get a blank look.

Oh to have a Carer that can remember that 2 flannels are necessary to give me a wash – one for soapy and the other for fresh water/ rinse. And that warm water is better than cold, and that a towel is very handy for drying….

Oh to have a carer that could remember last night, when I called the emergency lift engineer ( in front of her ) to ask that they came ASAP to fix my broken lift so that I can go upstairs, so that when in the morning the bell rings and it’s the lift engineer at the door, there isn’t a mystified look on her face as to what he’s doing here.

I could write pages of this stuff. It’s incredible how  these  people survive in their own lives and aren’t killed by large red things ( commonly known as buses ) that they have totally failed to notice are bearing down on them as they cross the road at the pedestrian crossing, where they’ve no doubt not remembered to press the button that stops the traffic.

2 thoughts on “Oh, if only.

  1. Hi Russ

    I have to apologise in advance as I found this blog about your latest carer hilarious. I guess the word ” carer ” doesn’t really apply in her case.

    You have a very entertaining way with words. I read in one of your blogs that you are/were writing a book. I hope you persevere because I think it would be a good read.

    Cheers – Jill ( Aussie cousin)

  2. Sounds like she s ‘checked out’ mentally …. she’s leaving right ? That would explain it …that’s why you need to do a THOROUGH ’ interview using specific real life examples ie ‘what would you do In the following situation xyz’ — ‘please give me an example of what you would do in the following …’ – .,,,,, that’s why good recruitment consultants get paid so much money 😜😜👍🏻👍🏻
    Please don’t take the next one on hastily …. without this type of interrogative questioning /qualification … otherwise you will end up at square one again and the mistake will be repeated over and over …,you could waste a lot of time ( more time than you have already) Proper training is also imperative but far more important to select the right person in the first place …. that’s assuming you have a sufficient pool of candidAtes to select from in the first place …
    I did offer to help 😜 -the offer is still there love

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