Oh to have a Carer that can remember every day that pushing my bathroom tap to the left means that hot water comes out, and that pushing it to the right means that cold water comes out.
Oh to have a Carer that can remember to lock my front door every time she leaves the flat.
Oh to have a Carer that can ask who is there before buzzing someone into the flat.
Oh to have a Carer that can remember to water the plants, which is just turning a dial once a day
Oh to have a Carer that can remember to push the lift call button for me, when we get to a lift, the button that I can’t reach.
Oh to have a Carer that knows where the front of my chair is, so that when I ask her to walk IN FRONT of me through crowds of people, to help me, she doesn’t immediately end up BEHIND ME, where I can’t even see her.
Oh to have a Carer that remembers, after 6 weeks of helping me with it 4 times a day, how to do up and undo the 4 bolts that attach my Triride attachment to my wheelchair.
Oh to have a Carer that can push a plug into a hole in the side of my iBot, and push a plug into the hole in the wall, commonly known as an electricity socket, and press the button, commonly known as the switch, which turns the power on, commonly known as electricity. And then REMEMBER what she did, so that the next time I ask I don’t get a blank look.
Oh to have a Carer that can remember that 2 flannels are necessary to give me a wash – one for soapy and the other for fresh water/ rinse. And that warm water is better than cold, and that a towel is very handy for drying….
Oh to have a carer that could remember last night, when I called the emergency lift engineer ( in front of her ) to ask that they came ASAP to fix my broken lift so that I can go upstairs, so that when in the morning the bell rings and it’s the lift engineer at the door, there isn’t a mystified look on her face as to what he’s doing here.
I could write pages of this stuff. It’s incredible how these people survive in their own lives and aren’t killed by large red things ( commonly known as buses ) that they have totally failed to notice are bearing down on them as they cross the road at the pedestrian crossing, where they’ve no doubt not remembered to press the button that stops the traffic.